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My Best Friend
well my best friend went on a mission trip and met this guy and now she really likes him. and then today they went out together and he asked her out and she said yes! they have only known each other for a week and a half and shes only a sophmore while hes a senior!! im really upset. i think it was really stupid. shes never had a boyfriend because shes usually smart about guys but now shes making bad decisions. they started holding hands and stuff before they even dated! and i wouldnt care but THEYVE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER A LITTLE OVER A WEEK! and shes said YES whan he asked her out!! i just cant be happy for her because now i know shes gonna start kissing him and im upset because i want to be happy for her when she gets her first kiss and when she has her first relationship but i feel like shes giving everything up for a guy she barely knows!!!! i of course will talk to her about it but what should i do? he does seem genuine but neither of us hardly know him! if shes thinks hes right shouldnt she at least wait a little? especially before she gives up her first kiss and who knows what else!! please help :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm going out on a limb in my answer, so I'll explain where I'm coming from first.
back when I was a freshmen in high school I became really really close to a girl in my english class. by sophomore year we were hanging out all the time and pretty much inseparable. people were actually disturbed by how close we were. she was my best friend and I was really really happy to be her best friend. junior year in high school, she got her first boyfriend (while I knew her) and started spending a lot of time with him. she'd tell me about her first kiss and dates and whatnot and I got really insanely jealous, so I faked a boyfriend for a really long time, but the jealous feelings never went away. even if I really was dating, I was still jealous of whoever she was dating because he got to spend much more time with her than I did. that summer she cancelled an engagement with me and it was the final straw. some may call it irrationality on my part, but I haven't talked to her civilly since then.
now, you can be a happy friend or a jealous friend. whichever one you are you can't really change, but just figure out why you are that way. are you jealous that she's having these experiences (and you're being left behind boyfriend-less) or that she's with someone else? does it feel like she's cheating on your friendship? are you jealous that you can't be with her non-stop anymore?
think long and hard about what kind of jealousy you're feeling. I finally realized a few months ago that I was feeling jealous because I had a crush on my friend and I felt alienated by her going off with boys being that I found myself unfortunately attracted to her. every date and story thereafter and kiss stolen in a car was a slap in my face because I knew that we could never be together as long as I stayed female. it took a few years to realize that I am a lesbian and also be comfortable enough about that to start dating women. I'm not saying that this is your situation, but it is a possibility.
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Honestly, I think you're really overreacting. He's asking her out on a date after spending a week with her -- I really don't see what the problem is there. People get asked out on dates after only knowing the other person for a day or less. It's all about taking the chance. Maybe they really got to know each other on that week they spent together - you can't be the one to judge that and assume otherwise. And him being a senior while she's a sophomore really isn't that big of a deal at all. It's only 2 years - nothing to get crazy over by any means. It's up to her to decide who she wants to date and by "not being happy for her because she's gonna kiss him and make bad decisions because she's only known him for a week" isn't the best on your part. You're her FRIEND, and you should be happy that she's found someone she's happy with. You don't know him, so you can't say that she's making the wrong choice. And all she's done is hold hands with him - how is that "giving everything up".
To be completely and totally honest, she doesn't have to wait. That's for HER to decide, not you. And I really don't think you should say anything, except just be happy for her. What are you going to do, call her stupid because she's found someone she really likes? That's a bad move on your part of the friendship. If they relationship goes on and you see that he's not treating her well or they're rushing into things, then maybe you can say something. But honestly, unless it directly concerns or affects you, this is none of your business. And saying anything will just make you come off as being rude, not happy for your friend, and even kind of jealous (even if you're not.)
In short: Don't say anything, you shouldn't be judging your friend like that. Just be there for her and be happy that she's happy.
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