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The Gloves are ON
I'm 16/f and ever since my older sister hit her teen years she has been driving me nuts. She is now 20 years old, and she is still driving me crazy, but now to the point where I wouldn't mind punching her in the face. I'm a VERY civil person, where if someone annoys me, it's easy to ignore. But, unlike my sister, I don't know any other person, and their reason for making me wanna put a gun in my mouth is a reason that I don't know them. However my sister just thinks that everyone was put on this earth to serve her. If you do something or say something that she agrees with, it's not hard to get along with her. But, if you do something that's an inconveneince to her than "you-know-what" hits the fan. Just yesterday I was so close to punching her in the face, because she was flipping out over a TV show. A TV SHOW! TV! I'm sorry, but I refuse to put up with this anymore. I'm tired of worrying that everything I say will upset her, then I have to deal with how "I'm wrong." "I'm younger so I have no clue what I'm talking about."
So... long story short. She's inmature, I'm tired, I want to hit her, and I want to make this stop. How do I do it?
Thanks
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well jsut tell her what you feel. are you guys close? just talk to her. make it clear that her obnoxiousnous has to stop.
good luck
lori 16/f
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Yes, sensitive people can be over-bearing at times and I realize (all too much!) how stressful it can be to have to constantly walk on eggshells when you're around a certain person. My best advice for you is to not converse with your sister unless she starts up the convo. Also, say as little as possible. Hypersensitivity is a mental issue, perhaps you can convince your parents to have your sister pyshologically evaluated. ;) I sincerely wish you the best of luck!!
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You didn't actually outline what the problem is… you labeled her as immature and bossy, but that isn’t ‘the problem’, that is your opinion of her personality… so I can't really give you specific advice on how to fix her personality.
But frankly, you can't make her stop. So you better get a hold of yourself and change your reaction to this.
Don't hit her. Stop letting this get to you.
You know that is the correct response.
To help yourself do this, recognize that there are something you are allowed to 'refuse to put up with'.
Yelling, name-calling or hitting are not okay. You shouldn't do it her, ever. If she starts to treat you that way, the best thing to do is say "I'm not comfortable. I need to stop having this conversation now."
Don't make it about HER. You aren't the authority on her. Calling her names and labeling her is not going to help you two to communicate. She isn’t going to listen to you any more then you are going to listen to her. So talk only about yourself. Use statements that start with 'I'.
I don't like it when you yell.
I don't want to have this conversation.
I am going to leave if I'm being called names.
Then practice your thick skin. There is no reason at your age, for a sibling’s remarks about you being wrong and younger should have any effect on you. You can be bigger then that. In fact you should be.
Again, don't make it about HER. It's about you.
I don't think I am wrong.
I am younger, but I don't think that matters on this issue.
I hear what you are saying, but I don't agree.
You are going to have to pull yourself together and be a bit stronger. When it comes to close relationships, it’s the person who is the most unhappy who has to make the change before anyone else will bother too. Until you change your response to her, she’ll just keep doing the same things.
Of course I’ll add the obvious advice of ‘talk to her’ but when a relationship is this polarized, often more effective then talking is simply change.
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