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Easy way to say NO to a friend?
Hi,
I won't go into detail here, as If I do we'll be here all day :-(
Anyway, I have helped a friend who was in desparate need, financially and physically for over a year now, and it has nearly drained me of all my resources. I am so tired and worn out and also worried about my own finances. She claims she will still need my help for another two months and then should be able to get back on her feet and start paying me back. Which I just can't see how she will do that. I have tried to tell her NO, that I can't do this anymore, but I just can't say it, because honestly she has no one else.
yes I feel like I am being taken advantage of, but also she needs the help.
Is there an easy way to say NO? If she didn't have small children--I could do it easier perhaps.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I say this, There is a line between helping and enabling. Your friend is taking advantage of your kindness. Set a firm date for her to get going and mean it. If not you could be stuck with her forever. And don,t worry about what she owes you, you may never get it but karma will come back to you financially for being good to her for this long. Good Luck
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this is exactly what my mom did for my dad for about 15 years. they were never married but she still wanted to help him. from what she did, coming up to know i am living with my grandparents and my mom. we can't afford a house, car, ect. and it's become specially hard when she started to look for a new job. with other things she is over 20,000 dollars in debt. she wishes she could take everything back. dad never gave us a penny.
this is where you might end up. or in a different situation close to this.
i would say to help her as many ways as you can without giving her money. it will just end you up no where.
ofcourse there isn't an easy way to say no to a friend. you always want to do the best for her. but sometimes saying no is the best way to go.
tell her your situation and explain why you have to stop giving her money. she might understand.even if it might not seem like it, you are doing the best thing by stopping. it will pay off later
i hope i helped. =D
contact me if you need anything else!
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There are easy ways to saying even the hardest of things. This girl, good friend or not, is taking advantage of you. Just because her life is in a dip set, doesn't mean that she can take you along with her now.
The easiest way to say no.. is to say it with a lot of substitute options after. Suggest what she can do for herself, and her children to help get her back on her feet. Organizations.. different jobs.. classes.. clinics.. clubs.. any of that.
You have to ask yourself... what is she doing to help herself, in comparison to what YOU'RE doing to help her. These number don't seem to add up, do they?
Say it calmly and nicely, because you don't want it to come off as a personal attack of any kind. You understand her dilemma, you WANT to help-- but at the same time, you have a life to live, which involves money, time, and space. She needs to let you have that.. she owes it to you.
Good luck.
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