|
I know I shouldn't even bother...
I know that everyone who reads this will just say "Drop him!!" i have heard it from all my friends but i just want another opinion. Ok i have known this guy for about 3 or 4 months now, we have hung out and seen each other about once a week and we talk almost every other day. Though he is not my prince charming and i dont have the greatst connection with the kid i like him and idk y. well here is the kicker, we have sex and yet we are not like b/f and g/f i have talked to him multiple times about going out but he just says i dont want a relationship and that he just doesnt like me in that way..... idk what to do. I want to be with him but he refuses to want to be with me.... should i just drop him?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
OK hun. First of all, this situation must suck, and I'm sorry about that :(
My fear is that, going into this sexual relationship, you werent on the same level. To you, he means a lot, but to him, you are a booty call. That is really where the misunderstanding was. Now about a bf/gf relationship? He told you he didn't like you in "that" way...the dreaded words.
You mentioned that he wasnt your prince charming....so lets analyze that super quick. You know you don't love him for who he really is. You wish you could have this amazing guy, but you have only found lame-man. There are better guys out there for you, I guarentee it :)
So what to do: Instead of flat out asking him to be in a relationship, have fun. not sex. fun. Go out to a movie with a group of friends, have a party do whatever. And girl, you should FLIRT YOUR HEART OUT. If this boy means as much to you as I think he does, dropping him isnt really an option. You have already broken the physical barrier, but try emotional. Build up his ego. Make him feel powerful. Then maybe at the end of the night, instead of sex, kiss him really softly and leave it at that. So, in a way it sounds like its "hard to get" but really, you might just need to back off.
Don't let your boy-toy use you like he has been. When the time is right, go ahead and tell him how you feel. "Its been really great getting to know you" blah blah "and i think it was time we took our relationship to the next level".
If the answer is no, don't ask him again, and don't flirt, kiss, have sex w/ him ever ever ever until he wants to grow up and make a commitment.
If the answer is yes, I would still go light on the sex. You might not know the intentions yet, so sit down and have a chat about your new relationship as bf/gf.
I hope i helped! I would love to hear updates!
_________________________________________________
Thanks so much for the update!
So he told you that he didn't have time to hang out with you? That is kinda rude, because already to me, you sound like a wonderful girl :)
What did you say to him afterward? Are you guys still talking at all?
This next question might be a little personal, so you dont have to answer it: How often did you two have sex? Because, through your question it sounds pretty often. And its not like that takes like only 5 seconds or something, so I don't think time is the real issue here. He could be nervous to actually develop a relationship with someone. Or, he could just be a jerk.
In either case, I don't think you should leave him stranded. Where as you may not be able to change him, you could be able to open him up. Start out with a small party, invite friends that will talk to you and have fun, but be sure he gets the invite too. Your friends will be there to keep you happy if he makes you mad, and they can also make sure you two don't venture off together ^_^ Plan the party or get-together far enough in advance that he could get work off (2-4 weeks in advance is good) so he doesn't have an excuse. If he still says he can't make it, keep trying again and again, just inviting him to activities you may do with your friends. However, if he does show up (let's hope) than treat him as you do your other friends, but remember, flirting is so allowed!
I hope you have fun, and don't get too stressed out, because some guys *newsflash* can be shallow. Remember to always be safe, bring friends when you hang out with him, because you never know what he really has on his mind. Okay hun, I hope the update helped, and maybe so my comment doesnt get longer and longer you can email me with updates okay?
<3/Arianne 16
ariannekp@hotmail.com
]
No need to drop him. You aren't even a
couple. He just uses you for sex.
Simply tell the guy that you are no
longer having sex with someone who
doesn't think you're good enough to
date. That is to big a risk to be
taking for some clown who just wants
a warm place for his winkie.
This guy is using you, tell him that
and he will be gone. You deserve better
than him. :)
]
Well, what are you expecting us to say?
If he said that he doesn't want a relationship, then well, he doesn't want a relationship. You can't make him want to be with you if he doesn't. Get over him. I know, easier said than done, but there's really no point in staying with him if he doesn't want to be with you.
]
More Questions: |