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who to choose!
18 f
Okay, I will make a long story short, or try to. I'm really close with my best friend who is a guy, let's call him L and I've been dating this other guy, let's call him F.
I've been close friends with L for quite a few years now, we always hang out together and we have fun and he is a nice person. My bf on the other hand, I've been going out with him for a year now, the relationship isn't going anywhere and I've actually thought of breaking up with him for a while although he is a good guy, he has hurt me enough for me to want to give up on him.
To the point, L told me that he has been in love with me for the past year or so and that he has been trying to win me over for ages. This came to a shock for me, but I really want him as a friend because he is a great guy and I don't want to just go out with him and then break up, but he is having a hard time dealing with the fact I turned him down so I don't think our friendship will be so strong anymore. My relationship with F is useless though, I know in my heart that L would appreciate me and treat me 100x, F never takes me out and L has been in love with me for so long now without me even realizing...
What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1. You sound like you don't want to date your boyfriend anymore. If that is the case, cut him loose. You'll both be a lot happier in the end.
2. If you want to date L... Date L. Don't look so far down the road and let your fear of losing him influence your decision. If you don't want to date L... Don't date L just because he's a nice guy and would treat you well. You can't force yourself to feel something that you don't... It wouldn't be fair to him or you. And in the end, you would both be miserable.
3. Talk to L. Tell him how you really feel. If you want to be together, tell him that. If not, explain to him that your feelings are not a personal reflection of him... That he is a great guy and deserves a girl that will reciprocate his feelings. And ask him how the two of you can work through this difficult period in your friendship. His only answer may be that he needs space at this time. If so, honor his request and try to give him some breathing room.
4. Just because you are experiencing difficulty in your friendship at this time does not mean that you and L will not bounce back. You can work through this... All you need to do is communicate and try to be sensitive to his needs. If it doesn't work out... I'm sorry to say that some friends aren't forever. (I have two friends that I've known for fifteen years. They are my best friends, my soulmates. But what of all my other friends over the years? We drifted apart. It happens.) Either way... You are going to be okay. You may hurt for a while, but you'll get over it, you'll move on. You'll be okay. And so will he.
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If L would be such a good bf, and your friendship with him, and relationship with F are both pretty bad, then why not? If there is another reason for not dating him besides the fact that you want his friendship, maybe you could go for it.
Obviouisly, you should break it off with F if your already haven't, but either think twice about saying no to dating L, or try talking to him about how much his friendship means to you, and why dating him might ruin that. If he's such a good friend like you say, I'm sure he'll understand.
Good Luck
Elise 15/f
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