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My Dad
WARNING: this is long!
I'm 16/f and my sister is rather annoying so my dad somehow favors me. It's kind of awkward because he feels like he can tell me stuff that makes me uncomfortable. Like whenever mom and him get in a fight he comes and tells me everything what he hates about her. Or he'll sit there and curse like a sailor when he knows it bothers me (I tell him it bothers me but he simply says "If I wanna curse in my house I will"). Also he'll tell these inapropriate (sp?) jokes to me and it's just uncomfortable.
About a few months ago he was diagnosed with cancer, he's fine now but now he feels like since he's had treatment and everything I HAVE to sit there and listen to him carry on like a little kid. I love my dad and it upset me that he isn't always getting along with mom, or that he drinks all the time, but I just hate the fact that he unloads all of his fears, problems, and jokes on me. I'm only 16 years old for crying out loud!
How do I make him realize I can't (and sometimes don't) want to be around him ALL the time.
Thnx
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Sounds like your dad is having a rough time. Maybe the reason that he tells you all this stuff is because he feels like you are the only person he can really talk to.
Though... I would like to add that it doesn't justify his behavior. He probably has no idea what he's doing... But, most likely, he's violating the natural order of the parent/ child relationship. Some might say that he might be a bit co-dependent.
The only thing I could possibly suggest would be to talk to your dad. Tell him that you understand that he's having a hard time and that you love him and do want to talk to him... But remind him that you're sixteen. Explain that sometimes he says things that make you uncomfortable and that you aren't really sure how to respond.
If he doesn't seem to really understand and his behavior persists... I'd suggest going to see your school guidance counselor. It's advice from a proffessional and it's free.
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Well he can't read your mind, can he? ;]
The only way to solve this problem is to talk to him about it. The next time he starts talking to you about his problems or whatnot, let him know calmly that you would rather not be the one he spills his guts to.
Let him know that maybe you can be there for him occasionally, but you shouldn't be held accountable to be there ALL the time, you know?
I'm sure if you speak to him in a civilized and mature matter, he'll listen and understand.
--Jack
(16/m)
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