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Arranged...
I have liked my good guy friend romantically for a good 2 years now, but the problem is, his parents are super strict and have actually arranged a marriage for him. I think he might like me back, but is there really any point in pursuing him? I don't want to get my heart broken...
What should we do?
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Okay, you've had some really wide answers, but i reckon i might have some good advice in this category considering i'm indian.
My family luckily isn't as strict as other families, they might in the future introduce me to some indian girls but they won't force anything on me...
This guys parents, is not YOUR problem, it's his, i'm not sure how he feels about having an arranged marriage though, he might be against it... so this is what you must do....
You have to tell him that you really want to be with him, and to ask him if he would really go through with a marriage without seeing if he wants to be with you too.. he might love you too, whats the harm in that? but the point is, you have to give him a choice because he's the one with strict parents not you, so it's up to him to make a decision not you. With this information he can either put his foot down and tell his parents to back off slightly till he's older so you and him can secretly see if things can work out, or he will just keep in tight with his strict family...
The reason i'm telling you to tell him is because in this day and age youth with strict culture such as this is starting to break apart especially when they aren't living in the same society as their predecessors, so I say you have a chance, but your young, you never know.. your relationship might end anyway in a year or 2, but "it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all"
Consequences: okay, there will be serious consequences to you 2 being in a relationship - let's say you got married... - his parents would kinda ... dis-own him.. not entirely - but they wouldn't talk much of him to his other relatives, they would look down at him for not staying with there culture and for marrying someone not from there culture - they would look down at you as well. They might not want to have anything to do with both of you... I'm not sure how serious this can get because it depends how strict they are, they could grow to just put up with it, or they might even totally cut you 2 both off and never speak to you 2 again. Obviously it won't be this extreme if you were both just dating and you're only 16, but due to the age, be prepared for him to be in a lot of arguments with his parents fighting to keep your relationship.
I hope I helped...
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hey... i think the best thing to do is to tell him how you feel and talk to him about it because if you dont you will regret it. do you know the saying...
'hearts are broken from words left unspoken'
if you dont tell him your heart may still get broken but then if you do tell him it could still get broken.
you need to decide if you love him enough to take a chance, he may like you, but you never know unless you try.
It doesnt matter if his parents are strict because in the end he will do what is right for him, he will make up his own mind because no one can do it for him.
but first you need to make up your mind, dont leave it too late.
hope i helped xxsal
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My two cents: give up and let this one go.
I know that's hard to hear and I apologize. The reason I say that is because I actually know two adult women from India that have arranged marriages for their children. This is a very old tradition that most of the Hindu people I know still honor. And when the parents are looking for a suitable wife for their children... They will usually choose someone within their own religion (I'm guessing you aren't Hindu) and familiar with their own culture. Both of the women I know, when they started searching, started in India. I know that not all Hindy families are like this... For example, I'm sure that the writer of the book 'The Namesake' came from a very different environment. But if, at sixteen, he's all ready betrothed, his family is nothing like the fictional family of Gogol.
Not only that, but if you were to involve yourself romantically anyway, it could mean trouble for him. I know another girl from a different religion but with an equally strict family when it comes to marriage and religion. She tried to get involved with a young man that was outside her own culture... When her family found out that she was seeing someone they became very upset. They forbid her to see the young man and started following her around. Now, the entire family is moving out of state, and I suspect that this may have something to do with it.
So... Please, in the best interest of the both of you... You can still be friends... But I believe that the two of you would both get hurt if you tried to be something more.
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with as strict as his parents and that tradition are, there really is no point in pursuing him. its probably the last thing you want to hear, but theres nearly no chance of his parents changing their decision, and you would most likely end up heart broken if you let yourself get too attatched to this guy. smart of you to guard your heart and think with your brain =]
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