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I always think I'm dying.
Hi there. I'm 21, and I'm assured I won't make it to my next birthday. I obsess over all sorts of diseases and illnesses, and it's ruining my life.
I have such big aspirations in life. I want to graduate from college, and have a family. I want to write a book, and enjoy myself.
Where is the key to happiness? I want more than anything to find it. I'm far too young to believe that I won't be okay. And yet, most days I find it harder then anything to just get out of my bed and live.
I'd hate to actually die, and know my life had turned to waste.
Any advice on taking life by the horns, and living to the best of my ability would be appreciated greatly.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I know this sounds strange coming from someone of my age, but i am 14 years old and i had the exact same problem you do.
my mind used to wonder off into strange places where i would think of abnormal scenerios of how i would die.
basically all i can say is, follow the motto, "Never live the same day twice". You have to learn to have fun and above all care about yourself, it sounds corny, i know.
live a little, hang out with friends whenever you can, laugh until it hurts, watch movies that send a positive message, and even do a good deed for someone, you won't believe how it will make someone else feel, including yourself.
Sometimes you need to push your worries to the back of your mind and be a little daring. But above all, be safe and make the right choices, think how it can affect your future.
hope i helped,
_sugarXskulls_
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adding to what everyone else said :)
1. i've had the same problem and i'm only 16, and i'll give you my tips of aspiration.
2. do you know the quote 'a coward dies a thousand times but a brave man only dies one' and the quote 'the mother of all fears is death' basically the first one's saying you gotta live life taking chances because that's when you really live, and if you're not 'living' you are dieing-the coward. and the second quote is self explanitory, but if that's so, dontcha think getting over the fear of death would rid you of your worries.
3. God is the key to happiness, w/o him, you'll never be truely happy. 'blessed be those who believe in the lord' {if you think you're interested in finding out more about salvation and stuff.. ask.} i gurantee if you chose the lord, you're problem will be solved because you'll live in eternity and if you already chose not to believe, i suggest you should just try, just once.. ask the lord into your heart[meaning and believeing it too) then ask the lord to carry your burdens and to help you and also you should try church and worshipping.. if you think this is crazy, i'm just saying to try it.. you won't believe how you're life will turn around.
4. all you can do is try your best, sometimes it's hard to find the motivation you need as you get older, but you need to find the passion for the things you want to do and just do it- even if you suck.. you'll never get better if you don't practice.
5. would you rather have nothing by never trying or have a possibility because you tryed.
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You need to live out on a whim, man.
Make a list of things you want to do before a certain birthday. For example, list thirty things you want to do before you turn thirty. Your list can be made up of places to visit, people to meet or befriend, skills to acquire, or just fun things to do. This way, you have some goals to aim at, and you can keep track of what you have done and what you still want to do.
Make a to-do list or a schedule every day! Don't just laze around all day without painting the fence, visiting Aunt Mary Ann, or finally taking that walk to the park. Have fun!
Remember "Carpe Diem" or "seize the day." - Live life in the moment. The only thing that is assured in life is this moment and death. So cherish every moment of life and make it worthwhile.
Try making life better for the less fortunate people in the world. They could be anyone, from an orphan in Africa to a pauper in Calcutta. Some dollars less in your account will not make a significant difference to you but will make an impact on someone's life. These are the deeds that make you happy in reality, knowing that you have made a difference.
Be comfortable with yourself. Love and accept yourself, even if others don't. Know who you are. You will naturally become an outgoing person if you can do this. Also, have an internal locus of control (an internal locus of control implies the belief that one is largely in control of the things that happen to her/him), meaning be who you are and stay true no matter the situation. Be strong and continue to grow your entire life.
Accept other people, even if they're different. Really different. You don't have to like everyone, just show acceptence and tolerance and you'll be cool with everyone (extremely important in connections later on). Also understand not everyone has your world view, thinks like you, or has the same values. But one thing everyone does want is to be treated kindly. You can't judge anyone else because you don't know what that person has been through and how it's affected them. Not everyone reacts to the same situations the same way. Some have more tolerance than others. Judging anyone is purely to organize your own little world into making a little more sense.
Find a purpose or meaning to your life. Whether that be a cause to help the world, religion, or just any kind of worthwhile goal (world domination only if you'll treat the world right.)
This is your MOST IMPORTANT ONE:
You need to ACCEPT DEATH. Yes, it can be scary. But it's going to happen, one day you will die. Let it echo through you, and you can begin to appreciate life. Trust you will be okay. Trust it or you'll go crazy.Live your life with the motto " If I die now I die happy ." Wouldn't it be nice if supposedly you would die now to know that many people would attend your funeral because you've been a great person? Or would you rather die and have people think of you as the kid who never went out and did something with himself.
Take all of your ambitions and your goals and roll with them. Have a good time living up to those goals.
Once you make a plan, follow it! There's no point in making a to-do list or a schedule if you aren't going to go through with it.
Do not whine about what you don't have. Enjoy what you have and desire, work towards what you want to have.
Don't feel jealous of people who are either better looking or have more money, or for that matter have anything that you don't but desire. Try to achieve it by working hard and making things work for you. Beauty and materialistic things in life don't last very long. What lasts is your soul. So it is important to have a clean and beautiful soul.
Keep the thought in your mind "If I died today, would I be happy?"
Everyone has different examples on what the key to happiness is. But you know what? You cannot follow someone elses thoughts on what is happy and what is not. Whatever YOU think is exciting, and leads you to being happy, is what you should follow.
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I don't know what the key to happiness is, but I'm pretty sure one of the pre-requisites to finding it is being of good mental health.
You are not mentally healthy if at 21, with no horrible pre-existing diagnosis, you think you are going to die.
Take your first, huge problem, by the horns by calling your family doctor, or any sort of local mental health support center and ask for a referral to a therapist with experience in helping people deal with obsessive thinking.
THAT is your biggest problem. That is a mental illness and one you should address. Once you get that under control you can start dealing with all the other details.
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