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Bothered by bf's sexual past!
Is is unreasonable to be bothered by a stupid sexual mistake your bf made some 4 years ago?
He was honest with me from the start - he was at a party, had been drinking, and got oral sex from a stranger. Didn't know her name and it was so bad he had to masterbate to get himself off in front of her. I think that part gets to me the most. =/
I just can't imagine him doing something like that. He says he's never regretted something so much. But it still gets to me, considering we took everything really slow and here he was sharing something really intimate with a girl he didn't even know, and wouldn't know now. I find I ask a lot of details about it even though the details really haunt me, I feel I *have* to know.
So what do I do about this? Why is it such a big deal to me? I realize teenagers will make a lot of mistakes especially when it comes to sex, but this seems worse than a lot of people (at least they do it with people they know, for example)
Ugh. Help me. Thanks.
21.f
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I totally understand where you are coming from, I always ask details even though I really don't want to know. I always feel like it's important to know it, then the details end up making me madder than I ever was before. I think it's just the thought of the person that you love and care about having an intimate moment with someone else, especially someone random.
But I think you need to consider the fact that he did tell you about it, even though he didn't have to. He cares about you enough that he told you something that bothers him and that he completely regrets. That shows that you really mean alot to him, he is letting you in.
Maybe you could talk to him about it. Let him know that it bothers you, maybe he can help you deal with it. If you would rather not talk to him about it then really all you can do is to try and forget about it. Realize that everyone makes mistakes and that once they are made all one can do is move on. Try not to think about it, don't bring it up, and just move on.
Hope I Helped.
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Well, you will have to factor a couple of things here.
First, he was drinking and at the time of the act probably drunk to the point where moral logic and common sense were kindly asked to fuck off.
Secondly, he actually chose to tell you about this experience. This proves many things about this boyfriend of yours. He loves you and respects you well enough for you to know about the regrets that he has had in his life.
But something in the back of my mind keep nagging at me to ask, where you two together when this event happened?
If the answer to the above question in no, then I suggest you let it go and find something else to worry about.
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It was a mistake made by a teenage boy caught up in the moment. It happens. A lot worse things than that do happen.
Try to look at it this way- They guy is obviously comfortable with you and trusts you to divulge such an intimate secret to you. If it's something he regrets, it's something he's most likely embarrassed about.
Yet he told you.
Try to live in the now and for the future. The past can't be changed, but it can be learned from. (He's obviously learned from it, right?)
ygs-30/f
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