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these two guys
the first guy is my boyfriend. we have been together for about almost 4 months. but we dont have a normal relationship. i have to hide him fom everyone because of our age difference and what my parents will think of him. ive been him maybe about 4 or 5 times out of the 4 months we have been dating. we say i love you and like when we are together its perfect but recently i have been having seconds thoughts about him. he is going to college in more then over a month and i told him i would stay with him and that we would just see eachother when he comes back down here. but honestly i think its not worth it. ive gone all the way with him. it was my first time. and he didnt even use a condom. shows how much he cares. i just dont have the guts to break up with him.
now the second guy. we just met and i fell for him hard... while i still have this boyfriend. im horrible, but me and this guy are dating too. hes perfect and we talk on the phone every night and he says cute things and hes realllly a great guy. the only problem is, he lives in a different state. he doesnt know about my relationship with my other boyfriend adn im really scared. i feel so quitly because he realllly likes me, but im thinking he may like me more then i do like him.
i think i just need to be single and so what i want with guys casue its wayyy easier then this. but i know once i let them go, i really will miss them. the first guy told me the only way he will break up with me is if i cheat on him. which i am technically. i know i would break his heart because he really loves me. and it would break mine too. but for the second guy. im thinking maybe we should just be like reallly close friends.
i dont know what to do. helppppppp!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First thing: in the first paragraph you wrote: shows how much he cares - now question, how much did you care? I am saying this because you knew that a condom was a necessity, and that one was not there, yet still did it anyway instead of stopping him right then and telling him that you weren't going to do this without the condom. So, because you didn't seem to care, neither did he. It is important that we as girls/ladies and women respect ourself and require to be respected or it won't be given. Repsect is earned, and isn't just something given to prove a point. (remember this, please.)
If you know he is too old for you, and your parents don't condone this, he is disrepecting you once again and your parents too. He KNOWS he is too old for you and is cool with being on the low with you because he is getting what he wants out of you. How do you know you are the only person he is sleeping with? & what makes you think he isn't seeing people closer to his age? Don't let any one run game on you. If you have time to date other people, what do you think he is doing in his spare time, sitting at home waiting for you to sneak and call him? OK? Keep it real sis!
It doesn't take guts to break up, it takes heart and if you don't break up with him, you may be in for a heart break that you could prevent now instead of later, dear heart. Seriously.
You can still be cool with the guy who lives in a different state. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Why would you make an option to only see one person at this time in your life? Anytime a relationship or friendship comes to an end, it does hurt a little (even is the ones that are full of BS). You will miss them, at first but time heals all. It's best to hurt from ending a friendship/relationship instead of hurting because you feel that you came to the end of a road that led to no where or messed up your future, as you have a bright one ahead of you.
As far as the first guy: if he knows you're too young for him, and he loved you, he wouldn't see you because of your age, and your parents' views. He also wouldn't be sleeping with you or encouraging unprotected sex, or agreeing to put you in situations to get in trouble for betraying your parents by doing this down low thing.
The second guy: ask him if you can remain friends with him only and that you are trying to find yourself which requires some time without being in any relationships. Let him know that you are just coming out of another relationship and aren't ready to move on yet. That's honest and it's respectable and if he is as great as you say he is, he understands this.
The first guy: tell him the truth - that you are too young for him. You are tired of sneaking around with him, and that you love yourself too much to allow him to take advantage of you and that you will not degrade yourself anymore by being with him sexually? Let's say you get pregnant, and he's leaving for college, what do you really think is going to happen? (him, your parents, your baby, your life) or what if he gives you an STD having unprotected sex, think... use your head, because you are mature, and smart.
Your soul is talking to you, telling you that you are having second thoughts about dude #1, and the reasons you have listed are actual reasons versus my scenerios, which still need to be taken into consideration. Listen to your innerself, PLEASE. IT will lead you a long way in your life and help you decide which path to follow when they seem to split up in different situations that you will face in your life. Real talk.. Don't listen to your heart,it breaks and is confused but your soul isn't!
Please be cautious and careful when giving up the goodies - I wish you wouldn't until you KNOW you are ready and this is when your heart, mind, soul, spirit ALL agree. Live your life and focus on your future so that you can do anything in your life based on your decisions, so make good ones, dear heart!
Good Luck
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An easy way to break up with the first
guy is simply tell him you are tired of
having to hide. He isn't the only one who
calls the shots on weather or not you
break up. It isn't easy on anyone and
someone always gets hurt but it is done
all the time.
You are young and hunting for the
right guy. There is no reason why
you have to stick with just one
right now. :)
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