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My Sister
I'm 16/f and I'm through fighting with my sister. She's 19 and I'm to the point where I'm just done. I can't argue with her because she's "always right". I can't talk to my mom because she's kind of upset that we fight all the time. My dad is getting sick of it to. I could say I'm not the bratty sister til I'm blue in the face but if I'm a brat then she's just awful. It will be the simplest thing and she goes off on this rant about how I'm incompetent to do anything and I will actually agree with her, but she keeps going. It's like talking to someone who uses their age and their one-year college (and driving!) experience, against you to the point where she honestly believes I'm an idiot. My question is How do I stay out of her way until I go to college, because I'm just out of it, she wins, I don't care anymore.
Thanks,
Just DONE
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
i'm 21 with a 19 yr old sister and an 17 yr old brother. i know i drive them crazy ALOT of times, and we get in fights too. why? because i worry about them, and i don't want them to make the same mistakes i did. they have a right to make their own mistakes, and i also have a right to want them to not repeat mine. is it fair? absolutely not.
i also have an older sister who does the same to me as i do to them. (acutally she has the privelage of doing it to all of us with nobody to do it to her.) now that i'm older and catch myself doing it to the younger two, i understand why. sometimes, it helps me to remember that when my older sis is doing it to me. it's all about family love. and out of family love, i'm going to argue right back ;)
i suggest not avoiding your sister completly. you'll have your rough times, and when that happens separate yourselves into different rooms. but take advantage of the time y'all have together. she drives, right? take a day trip together and create some happy memories. you don't want to look back on your time together and remember nothing but aruging. it takes paitence and effort, but i guarantee it's worth it.
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Not caring anymore is the right choice.
If she likes to rant at you, here is the trick to stop it. Say this:
"I don't like being spoken to this way, so I'm going to go now. If you have something to tell me I'd love to hear it when we are both calm, or maybe you could write me a note. Bye."
Then leave. Take a walk. Take a shower. Close the door to your bedroom. Ignore any more attempts she makes to communicate with you unless she is calm and respectful about it.
Repeat yourself if necessary. "I'm sorry; I don't like communicating like this, so I'm not going to talk to you right now." You have the right to say that her mode of communication isn’t working for you.
This isn't the childish 'silent treatment', when done properly, without be a bitch about it or insulting her, this is simply you standing up for yourself and setting some standards in your relationship.
If she DOES write you a note, you need to write her back or maybe sit down with her and your mother and try to go over what she has to say seriously. She has the right to have her opinions heard, just like you do.
REMEMBER she is your sister.
You MUST communicate with her.
If you refuse to speak to her all that would be childish and bratty behavior.
This is NOT the silent treatment.
What I'm suggesting you do is change the WAY you communicate. So the moment, the very second, she stops yelling or ranting and starts being even just a bit reasonable, you must respond to her. That is only fair, and it will help teach her how she needs to behave in order to get a response form you.
Don’t be rude, don’t insult and don’t get riled up. Just be honest and direct about the way you wish to be addressed.
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