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Replying to what you said to me
Ya, I already know that. I tell myself shes just missing out on what a good person i am. I do think of all the things I can do on my own now,i spend a lot of alone time, i really just miss the friendship part in my life. Im like a wheel with a peice missing,going rolll..thump..roll. When im with my other 'friends' im usually the odd one out since there are three of us including me(i do not always see myself as this). but thats how they usually treat me. threes a crowd I guess. We were friends the whole 9 years. I accept that she is dating him,but it just bugs me seeing her making out with him in my house right in front of me. I referred to myself as gr8fruit earlier because thats my login name on here. I do not use any nicknames. I do understand that things just go the way they do. Church I had been going to, but lately I stopped because of other probs. Not church,just the going there part.She goes to this church as well. Things are very complicated in my life. My parents split up,my mom got remarried,only to find out that he was using her,they divorced,we already switched houses (sort of in the same sort of area) three times, my dad is a very nice guy its others that screwed up their marriage on purpose (My moms first marriage), he only comes around every now and then because he works in other places,theres this mentally handicapped kid at school who wont stop hitting me and kicking me(because he likes me which is pretty annoying),my sister loves Jess more than me,i try spending time with my sis but she gets frustrated with things pretty easily (we do have our good days), my mom i know likes Jess more than me because she talks about her enough and uses her as a replacement for me (i do talk to my mom about this, she tells me to ignore them and whatnot) Another thing that really bugs me is that whenever I do something,Jess has to copy me. Its a good feeling knowing someone wants to follow in my footsteps, but sometimes its rediculous. I bought a laptop,and when her mom found out i got one she went and bought Jess one. When I got a dog,her mom went and got her one.They have way more money then us,that doesnt bother me,but it seems they are jealous of us. When i made this cookbook for Foods class,i bought a special cover for it and she had to get one exactly the same.When I got a job at the local grocery store she had to get a job where i did. The latest one, is that i got my hair cut,her mom found out and had to take her the next day to get her hair cut-and streaked. The difference between us is that i actually earn what i get,and her parents just give it to her. I think everything really is a competition to her mom. And i know that that is just how she is. I just dont like spending this much time by myself. I do like to dress up still (im not much of a make up person),do my hair, whatever. i sew (stuffed animals,quilts),draw,do crafts,im very artistic,i play instruments,see people when im working (i love my job),go play cards with the elderly,bake. I really just want someone close to do stuff with,someone my own age. i know you are just going to say im bringing myself down,but what i said here is how things are.Im not saying i cant change things,i know i can. Im pretty content with what i do. I try to keep the positive things in mind, but theres to much clutter building up,if you know what i mean. Art is my one main thing that keeps me going besides my pug :) Like I said, I really just want someone close to do stuff with,someone my own age. For the last few months i have had no one really :/
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Wow.. this is much to go through and I am sorry to hear that. First, are there any kids in your neighborhood that you can befriend? If so, why not befriend other people your age?
I understand that you don't like spending time alone and that it's boring at times. If you can identify that there is much clutter, then move it out of the way as it is preventing your happiness. I too love art, crafts, painting, drawing,playing the organ and piano, drums and guitar. I have always been different and didn't fit in when I was younger. I had moved to the US from Colon Panama. It was different. I looked different, I acted different, I spoke different and no one liked me - I found out later due to jealousy. I was teased all of the time, finally I began to just do me, and soon people wanted to hang with me, not me trying to hang with them. Why not ask to change schools, and start all over.
NO one should be hitting or kicking you regardless of handicap or not - please address this so that it is corrected. It is abuse, regardless of age, and with him being mentally challenged and no correction, he thinks it's the correct thing to do, and needs to be taught that it's not. If Jess doesn't wish to affiliate with you, don't force her or the situation, let it go sweetie.
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