|
Best Friend
Im a female, turning 16.I had been very good friends with a girl across the street4about 9 years,her name is Jess.When I say very good friends I mean we were REALLY REALLY best friends.We were unseperable.Jess and I would do eVeRyThInG together,whether it b sitting together in class,drawing,dancing,going swimming,having girl talks,doing homework together,taking walks,having sleepless sleepovers,whatever it was,we did it together.I'll tell you now,that I am not a very popular gal.It is sort of hard for me to fit in with a crowd for they don't see me as 'good enough' 4them.I do like who I am,its just others dont see that.The only one that does is Jess.I would have 2change who I am in order 2fit in at my school.So,whenever I do try making friends it only lasts a while because they always end up stabbing me in the back (most of the people here are under bad influences I must add)All the friends that I have known 2trust always ended up stabbing me in the back.When I met Jess,I knew I had found the perfect friend.I know friends arent always perfect,but she is pretty dang close.She was trustworthy.I believed we would always be true 2achother since we always told eachother everything.Until I found out she liked my brother.Then,she did not tell me they were dating(they started goin out on my birthday,and made out on the couch that night)lets just say it was pretty obvious they were datin4she would use me as an excuse 2see him(since her mom didnt want her to date him)then come over afterwards even+totally ignore me.Not 2mention the making out in front of me in my own house later on...My point being is that she is the only true friend ive ever known.I've always done everything with her,and all of a sudden a shocker like this happens.Right now I am friendless because she totally dumped me 4my brother.Everyone would always ask me 'hey,wheres jess?' afterwards.And people would always end up asking her 'hey wheres gr8fruit?' I can't stand being dumped by Jess 4him.First because i live with him,and second because he treats me like a total jerk,because he is one.Now that he has her he acts like he has the prize and is cocky.I dont know what 2do.Right now r some of the loneliess days in my life.I can't stand doing everything by myself all the time.Its just not worth living a life with no friends.I need someone to be close to.I have no one close to talk 2anymore. I need a true friend.Believe me,support groups,councellors(who i dont trust),and others i have already talked/been to.Right now I am trying to find a good penpal so I will have someone.I've already talked 2her and tryed moving on.I know she has(with my brother)already.. its just, the only thing that has ever been true to me is her.And the thing i've always prayed for was a true friend. I believe He showed me her.And we were meant to be best friends.I miss her. And right now,what I need most,is a true friend. What can I do now?
Thanks for reading my VERY long story. Any advice would help ;)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Try finding a friend who likes for you and if your other friend ditches you she's not a true friend i dealed in a situation like this
]
You said she lived across the street for 9 years, but you never said how long you two were friends. If you were friends the whole 9 years, she didn't use you to get close to your brother, she was just attracted and interested in him from being around him so much and he was attracted and interested in her. If she lived there for 9 years and you weren't close the whole 9 years but only like recently, then yep she used you to get to your brother.
there is much that I will say to you in regards to the whole thing. You are shy and you have self esteem issues. First start working on that becase there is NO reason to feel less than anyone else, and you don't have to change to be accepted either no do you have to fall victim to peer pressure so I respect you for already knowing that much.
The fact that they kept it a secret from you was to keep you from feeling the way you feel now. If you were really a true friend, then you would be cool with her dating your brother - you know him and you know her too. Wish her the best and allow her to be happy. Don't do the guilt/blame game because you aren't dating anyone right now.
Instead find other interests. Join clubs, do some charity work in your community, Volunteer to be a big sister or go to the library and volunteer to read to the children if they have the program set up there.Check on joining some clubs at your school,or check on establishing a club at your school. You aren't the only person who feels like they have no friends at your school. I am not sure of what the whole grapefruit thing is, but if you don't like being referred to as that, stop it. If that's your nick name and you don't like it, stop it, change it, and advise what your name is.
You aren't loving yourself enough my dear. Sometimes, alone time is good for you because God is working through you and showing you different things and you are able to concentrate on the message he is sending you. Do you go to church? if not, why not join one, there are youth activities there? get involved and stop feeling pitty on yourself. it does nothing. On your birthday, you chose to stay at home on the couch, instead of getting dressed up, fixing your hair, putting on a little make up and stepping out or doing something, even if it was by yourself you still did something! Do you know how many times I have dated my damn self? seriously, and at first I felt stupid, but eventually I realized that I was loving myself as well as finding myself to know who I am and where I am going in MY LIFE. I realized that I CONTROLLED my happiness and depressions. Until you come to that point, you will stay depressed, upset, hurt, outcasted, so on and so forth.
If she doesn't want to hang with you anymore, fine. That's her right and choice, but think of it this way - she lost a great friend, instead of you losing a good friend.
Also, check this out: this sounds corny I know but it's real: Before claiming someone to be a best friend, be sure that it's mutually agreed that you two are entering into a friendship and they both have agreed to be bestfriends. Just because you were her best friend, doesn't mean that you were hers. Meaning: just because you accept the role and responsibilities of being a best friend to someone doesn't mean they accept that same obligation in return (which means you end up getting used)
Another thing, I thought of, as teens grow up, they began dating and that friend they once had usually gets less time, conversation and activity because they are dating or seeing someone, the thing about being a friend is understanding that and wishing happiness for that friend who is dating. The friend who is dating should also consider their other friend too, and make time for them too instead of dedicating all of their time and conversation to the boyfriend.(vice versa. Many friendships are broken as a result of this not being practiced and reciprocated.
I hope this helped and I pray that you have a different outlook on things. GOOD LUCK!
]
More Questions: |