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BIG bullies at my middle school! LONG but PLEASE PLEASE PLEA
I know this is kind of long, but its a big problem right now and i hope you can read this and help me fix it. well there are these 4 girls in my middleschool AND my neighborhood. I've known them all since like first grade too. We used to be friends but that friendship.. got annoying sometimes. One of the girls always was way too bossy, making up games that only SHE won, she always thinks she is always right even when she was clearly wrong, and expected us to take time to find her missing cellphone when im sure she wouldnt do the same for me. fast forward 7 years, to 8th grade. like sometimes, ever since first, i felt exculded. they're all indian/muslim kids and im the only black girl. i didnt get why we couldnt all be friends and share things cause a lot they had secret talks with one another and i felt left out. and this year.. i have no idea what happened to them. they're all really rude, always talk s*** about people behind their back, infact thats all they DO. You never hear them talking about themselves, what they're gonna do, what happened today. I got sick with being associated with them cause they really annoy a lot of people. And they always follow what another says. So one day I got mad, because that bossy girl yelled something mean to my friend when we left the school out the window of the bus, and i said that it was mean and i didnt want her to do it to her friend. then she got all stingy and said she was her friend too and im like.. how was she supposed to know who said it? and she got all pissed & crap. so when we came out i said they were all followers and i didnt like what they did. i ignored them and talked to my other friends on the bus and then they ended up sucking up to me after a couple days, then i didnt consider myself their friend but i wasnt their enemy. the bossy girl was.. nice for once in her life? then later on that same girl sat with me cuz someone took her seat. i let her since im in a 3 seater and hen someone needs a seat, i usually let them sit with me. but then that same girl got all bossy and mean when she wanted me to sit in the seat behind me, which nobody likes to. im like.. 'you can go sit there then' and she got all pissed. im like HELLO im the one who sacrificed my seat for you and you want ME to leave MY seat? which really isnt my seat since anyone can sit there but ya know, i got there first and i usually sit there anyways. then i talked to the other 2 indian girls and accidentally shared them a secret that this guy on the bus liked me in 6th grade. then they both blurted it out and said it doesnt matter since hes not a person and has no feelings. it really bothered me cause even though hes unpopular and i admit weird, i'd never treat anyone like that. so im like 'how dare you!' and i stop talking to them and tell my friend. the problem is that she is friends with one of the girls who shouted those things so she tried to be on both sides to avoid conflict i'd like to not be around them cause i try ignoring them, but they're always there since we are at the same bus stop and everything! like yesterday the girl whos my friend's friend on the bus, like i sat in her seat yesterday cuz someone else took my seat, not that i really care since its a free for all. and she got all mad at me and called me a stupid hoe, b*tch, and she always talks to people, shouting loudly indirectly talking to me. and all she says is false. i havent even had a boyfriend (not that i cant i just dont want one now) and neither has she. and i try to ignore.. i really wish i had an ipod on the bus to do that. its easier when that my friends on the bus but when shes gone is when that other girl like says all that crap. and like when her and her friends talk, its really loud and everyone can hear since everyones quiet. and then they accused me of eavesdropping. are you kidding me! i said the whole bus could hear them and they still didnt get how. So what should I do... like for comebacks or better ways to ignore them! Like i dont wanna say dumb stuff like "your mom" which they say. Like I want the kind of comeback that like really gets to them when they say dumb stuff about me like that. like they even think im all conceited and think im perfect which certainly isnt true.. im shocked since they've known me so long but think that at all. and i just happen to be an optimistic, moral person, who doesnt agree with all the dumb things they do to people, and talk about people. a lot of people dont even like them. people like me, unfortunately not a lot of my friends are on my bus, and they have the nerve to say nobody does when its actually the opposite. like i hear them saying how someone thinks they are annoying.. the people they annoy all think that, some have told me yet they still act the same. and they act so unconfident at school but on the bus they try to act like they take over. HELP!!!!!!! 14/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
wow.. well, first of all: Disassociate yourself with this crowd. You are obviously different and more mature than that. A bully can't be a bully unless allowed. They are rude, and very immature for their age. I remember all of that silly mess when I was in high school and it's sad to know it still goes on today. First of all, stop sitting next to them. If it is a situation of sitting next to them b/c of no choice, then don't say anything to them- read a book or something. I am an upfront fair person - I am an honest person too, which means that I would just come out and say you know what? I am done kickin' it with you all because I have no interest in what you talk about, what you do, or how you treat people and I don't want people to automatically assume that I am like you, since I hang and talk to you.
I would also address that you don't appreciate or like how they treat you at times, and it sounds like they are sometimey. I REFUSE TO DEAL WITH SOMETIMEY people because they are shady.
Another thing, you already know that they aren't your friend for real because you said it yourself, they ignore you, leave you out at times, and disrespect you, or expect you to do to things that you already know they wouldn't do for you so let it go and let them go.
Find other friends, you seem straight up so that should be no problem for you to find other friends. People like that are all TALK for real, which is why they act different on the bus than they do on the bus. Don't be fake, keep it real.
They treat people this way because they have low self-esteem and LOW confidence and by putting other people down, loud talking and being complete asses, make them feel empowered. They need to feel that empowerment because they are weak and have no power in themselves so they try to drain other peoples' power - make sense? Rise above that and tell them up front that you no longer wish to be their friend and that they were never your friend to begin with and they will no longer control you and not to speak to you anymore period because you have nothing else to say to them and walk off.
Good Luck and I am proud of you for NOT FALLING TO PEER PRESSURE. IT IS OK to be different and it OK TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON!!!!!
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Ah, middle school.
It sucks.
I hate to say it, but the more you talk to them, the worse you're going to make it. If they say something to you, just smile. That'll make them more mad than any comeback you could think of. All they're trying to do is get you pissed off so they can have something to talk about.
Just back off from them, and hang out with your other friends. And your friend that's in the middle - don't try to get her on your 'side.' And whatever you do, don't talk about them. It always comes back to you. All that will do is make things worse. Don't even TALK to the friend that it's the middle about anything that's going on. If she brings it up, just change the subject. Hopefully these girls will eventually grow up some, but until that happens, just stay clear of them.
Good luck. :)
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