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bf is too busy for me
Lately my boyfriend has been really busy, which is a huge 360, because I was always the busy one. Now, I'M the one who has nothing to do and always wants to hang out, but he's always working.
Then, when he has a day off, he'll call me and we make plans, but when that day finally comes, he's sleeping in. I understand he's tired, but I'm tired too. I'm tired of the false promises he's making me and I can only put up with so much.
I call him up while I'm upset and flustered (I'm only human and I have the right to be), then he'll say something on the lines of, "See, this is why I don't want to hang out with you, because this is how you act."
I thought he'd be more understanding because he used to be in my position, but now, it's like he's taking advantage of it. I'm the only one who's being understanding because I keep taking his crap. I'm so tired of getting my hopes up and being letdown.
Now, he made plans with me again to hang out on his day off, and I don't know how to respond.
I want to decline because I feel like he doesn't deserve me, that I'm not some lightswitch he can turn on and off as he pleases, and that I've had it. I don't want to give him what he wants.
On the other hand, why should I be so spiteful? Because in the end, that's what I wanted.. to spend time with him, and I'm gonna pass it up? But I don't want to give in. Like I said, I don't wanna play on his terms and play whenever it's "convenient" for him.
What should I do about this? Any thoughts or help would be appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't play games. That is just a waste of time.
If you don't feel he has time for you, end it.
Find someone who does.
If you want to make it work, you will have
to be more understanding, as I assume he
was when you were to busy. If he makes
plans and then is inconsiderate enough
not to show up...assume he doesn't care
about the relationship as much as you do.
Find someone who finds time to spend with
you. That is my advice. :)
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Hey, my name is Faith42 and I think I can help!
I think no!boyfriend should be to busy to hang out
with his girlfriend! Even though he is tired , he
should still hang out with you! If, he is realy busy
during the week he should at least hang out with you
or go on a date with you on Friday, and on the weekend! If, he keeps doing this 2 you, you should
break it off with him! No Boyfriend is 2 busy 2 hang
out with his girlfriend!
I hope I helped,
Faith42:)
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Girl, I feel you. First of all here's what's up.
You are right, you don't want him to think that you are going to be there at his beckoning call. You know he works, you understand that, but part of being in a relationship is making sacrifices (both of you). Don't beg him for jack. If you have no other friends, get some, start hanging with other people. If he is sleeping or seeing someone else while claiming to be sleep, that's on him, respect him and allow him to do his thing now do your own thing and see what happens, either he is going to get it together and spend more time with you or you will find other interest while not sitting at home looking crazy waiting on him.
If he asked you to do something, agree as plan A, but always have a plan B incase he backs out on you again and don't say anything about either. I don't know why we as women think we have to call a man out on his wrongs, or when we feel neglected BECAUSE THEY ALREADY KNOW BEFORE HAND. It's good to voice how you feel once or maybe even twice but to continue having the same conversation becomes cumbersome and worrisome which makes him say the things you said he said in your question, right? RIGHT! girl I was on here asking the same question to some extent), and then I woke up and realized that you know what? I am going to do me, and he can do him and we are much better now. For real. I started hanging out without him, and when I was out, and he would call, I'd tell him I am out with friends and would return his call at MY earliest convenience. You are not being spiteful, you want to be fair in it. I feel you. DON'T play when it's convenient for him, or yourself- hell, don't play at all, be real and up front and MAKE YOUR TIME CONVENIENT FOR YOU, and if it doesn't consist of sitting around, sleeping all the time, then it just doesn't. that's straight to the gate baby with no games.
Good Luck and you are right, not spiteful!
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Well i think one problem is that you are calling him while you're upset. This is never a good idea. You two need to talk calmly about it. And in my opinion, the tired thing is no excuse. You could always go to his house and fall asleep together. He should want to see you no matter how tired he is, and he certainly shouldn't back out of your plans together. Let him know that it really hurts you. Hopefully this will help him to understand. Good luck!
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