|
uncontrollable fear.
i have a problem. sometimes i get so afraid, i get really nervous, and i freak out inside, people can only tell when i talk or walk. when i talk, i start studdering, or my voice is just shakey and when i walk, i stuble into or over things.. it's kind of funny. and i avoid looking people in the eye. i get nervous when i feel people judge me..in a bad way, when i present/ or sing in front of a class/crowd i get nervous- even if the crowd is just three people, i get nervous when driving when i don't know exactly where to go to get to where i'm going, i get nervous when i first meet people(i know everyone does), i get nevous when i talk to really pretty girls, or really hott guys. and i get nevous in many other situations. it's so stupid, and i can't control my nerves. it gets a little better when i get comfortable in the situation, but the fear doesn't go away. i think the source of my fear is from my dad when he use to hit us when i was a kid. when he got the belt out, i would always run, but he always got me in a corner. he hit us with the belt buckle so it really hurt and left bruises. i think once i get afraid, i get in like a survival mode- i can make my breathing soundless to where nobody can hear it, i'm brave but afraid.
i just want to know how i can get over my fear entirely, not just a little and i want to know how to make it stop.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I wouldn't recomend medication, although i'm not saying it won't work, it's just something I don't agree with...
An uncontrollable fear is pretty much a phobia, it's irrational. What I would suggest, only because I have had a good experience, is hypnotherapy.
Now, I know it might sound wierd or even scary, but it worked for me because I was open to the idea.
I had a phobia that was so bad, probably even harder to understand than your fears.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask
]
You are suffering from anxiety. Sounds like just a general anxiety that colours everything you do and think... The good news is you can deal with it and control it. The bad news is that you probably can't do that all by yourself and it will probably never go away completely.
Anxiety like you are describing is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. Although the abuse you suffered as a child might play a part as well, in the end, it is neurochemistry screwing you. Those chemicals in your brain are a good thing most of the time. They help us feel fear when a wolf pounces on us, or when someone waves a gun in our face, or there is a fire in our home. They help us react appropriately to those scary things.
But, if those chemicals are ALWAYS in your brain, then you are going to ALWAYS feel like your house is on fire. It sucks, it's limiting and it's tiring.
You are absolutely right about survival-mode! You are basically stuck in survival mode, all the time, and that sucks.
As a teen I had pretty much the same problem. I didn't go to malls, or drive. I organized my day so that I wouldn't walk through the hallways at their busiest times. I didn't talk to people who scarred me. I did a whole bunch of tiny things to make my life less frightening, and that helped, but it didn't make the feelings go away. In fact, they slowly got worse, and from talking to others with similar problems, it seems like they almost always get worse, until you get outside help.
So, you need see a counselor or a therapist. Having too much anxiety is a bit like having cancer. It’s a real, physical illness that will probably get worse if you leave it alone and just try to ‘deal with it’ yourself. It might get better by itself (just like cancer might!) but that isn’t likely.
I was in therapy for years. In university I actually went back for a little while because I started to get too afraid again. Therapy for my anxiety didn’t just help me, it probably saved my life. The two people I owe the most to in this universe are my mother, and my Cognitive Behavior Therapist.
I also took medication, although I know a lot of people don’t, or don’t like it. I loved it. I didn’t take it forever, but it helped me find out what ‘normal’ felt like. It’s hard to realize the fear is stupid, until you have felt what it is like to live without fear. The right medication can be a useful tool for that.
If you want any more information, or to talk at all about this, you can use the e-mail in my column or ask me a question in my inbox, I’d be happy to talk further.
]
More Questions: |