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do i or dont i
okay so i am f/17 and i have this best friend. but for the last year we have been liking each other on and off. and the thing is when i dont have him i want him, but when i do have him i have no interest in him. what do i do? because its really not fair to him and this is always happening.
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I'm glad you realize how unfair this is.
To be honest, I just think you like the feeling of him being attracted to you. It's always a nice feeling knowing when someone likes you isn't it?
I really don't see anything more here, because your feelings wouldn't change when you have him, or at least they shouldn't..
If I were you, I'd just leave it. There's clearly not enough there at the moment which makes you properly want to be with him.
Who knows, if you spend time away from him or not thinking about dating him, it might bring you closer and make you realize you DO want him.. or it will make you realize you're better off just as friends friends.
Time will tell.. but don't string him along any more than you have done.
I wish you the best of luck with your situation.
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oh, are you one of those people???
you just want to have everything and you want to own everything, but when you actually have it or own it, you are not interested anymore. It runs through so many people whom i met and whom i didn't meet.
But here's the thing, we are talking about him, a human being, who has feelings and emotions and who loves you, so that's definitely where you should stop and think, cause this ain't another thing which you could have or don't have or be interested in and then lose the interest whenever you want.
Give it a try, cause somewhere there in your heart you love him, and after all you said it, you said you want him when you don't have him, well then that's a feeling for need and care. So be with him and give it a try, like a real try, try to know him well , try to be with him long enough to actually either love him or hate him or just know if that feeling you have about him is neutral or what, and then, then you can really back out or stay, for once and for all. That is how things work for you to be fair to yourself and most important, to him.
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You're addicted to the thrill of the hunt. Once you've got your prey much like a cat with a mouse you play around with it a bit and decide not to eat it and lose interest.
All you have to do is recognize that he's best as your friend and not your boyfriend because it never goes anywhere. When you get those mushy feelings or jealous that some other girl has caught his eye you need to remind yourself that it just won't work for us and do your hardest to back off a bit. Hang out with him less. Over time you'll condition yourself not to have an attraction to him and seek out other matches.
Just think, you're like the cat that is messing around with the mouse catching it, torturing it and then giving up. Much as that analogy isn't fair in the animal world nor is what you've been doing in the human world. Set him free (romantically) and keep him as your friend. That's all you can do just don't let yourself go there. Remind yourself of how unfair that is.
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