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really sorry if this is too long
I'm your typical 14 year old freshman girl almost done with her first year of highschool(thank god). Last year though, I had REALLY high self esteem which is weird because I had braces and wasn't as pretty now, some people even called me too cocky. Over the summer, my friends and i would go to the mall and they would always be the ones to get the guys and it really lowered my confidence ever since then for some reason. Plus, this year I dealt with a lot of family issues, my parents were separated for awhile but are together now. However, now we have financial trouble and it's really tough for all of us. Just everything changed this year and I can't seem to get past it all. I gained a few pounds, I want surgery on my nose, blah blah blah. I can't get a job, no one wants to hire me. I don't get along with my dad. I think I'm pretty but not to the point where a guy would fall head over heels for me. I want to go back next year improved, with much more confidence. Do you think it's just a typical phase of a freshman? It's just I use to be that hysterical girl who cracked everyone up and I was so outgoing even though I'm generally a guiet person. I just want to be who I used to be and don't know how to get back. Please don't think I'm a drama queen or anything because I'm really not like this whatsoever. I haven't talked about this to anyone about I have felt this past year. Any advice/comments would gratefully appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
High school is hard for everyone. Even the popular girls. Your family issues can definitely take a toll on how you feel, as well as your financial situation. First of all you don't want a guy to date you for your looks. You want a guy who loves you for your personality. But if you want other people to believe your sexy you have to believe it yourself. Being attractive is all about self confidence.
1.) Flirting never hurts
** You can up your allure by putting yourself out there. Being flirty is a way of letting a guy know you're interested without making a fool out of yourself. Some tried and true pointers: Maintain eye contact for a few seconds to let a guy you've never met know that you've noticed him. Also "accidentally" making physical contact, whether its using his shoulder to steady yourself or picking an imaginary piece of lint off his shirt does two things. It gauges his interest in you and lets him know you're comfortable around him. These are two key things in any relationship.
2.) Dress to Get Noticed
** Take a chance. Be adventurous. Case in point: Not long ago on a girls night out me and a few friends decided to dress for excess. We thought lets get dressed up and go glam rock and make a really fun night out of it. So we did and as soon as we walked into the place people started to look. Three of my friends met someone that night! The message: have fun with your look and don't be afraid to stand out.
3.) Be Ready
** Keep a "sexiness kit" in the car or in your purse so that you have what you need when you're faced with a situation that calls for some extra prepping. The essentials: Sample perfume, lip gloss, mirror, mini brush and powder. Knowing you look hot also boosts your all around confidence.
4.) Channel and Icon
** When looking for a little style inspiration I recommend browsing the web. Google movie bomb shells. My own idol is Jessica Simpson. i used to watch newly weds over and over. I studied how she walked, dressed, talked and her expressions. I think she is gorgeous so if I don't feel so pretty I pretend that I am Jessica Simpson. It makes me feel hot because I know she is.
5.) Be a Little Mysterious
** If you strike a guys curiosity it is guaranteed that he will come back. Guys can get bored very easily. A relationship has to have somewhere to go. Don't always act available and accommodating. Be vague occasionally, and tell him you re busy but would love to get together another day when he asks you out. Also wear something saucy underneath your clothes like lingerie. It will boost up your personal confidence.
6.) Stop Obsessing About Your Flaws
** Instead of focusing on what you think are the negative aspects of your body (braces,nose), realize that they give you character. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look good and once you look in the mirror and think you look hot, dont look again. You will carry that sense of sexiness all night.
Sexiness is all about confidence. Realize that any guy would be lucky to have you.
--syd--
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okay. so your self esteem being lower probably has a lot to do with whats going on in your life. your stressed out obviously. im sure your beautiful and don't needs surgery, a lot of girls are unhappy with their appearance, but don't reallize how beautiful they are and also don't realize that a lot of guys really don't want a girl who is fake. your only 14 you don't really NEED a boyfriend anyway. You just need to remind yourself that you are a confident beautiful smart young woman who is perfectly capable of getting a guy and running her life just the way you are. you don't need to change for someone else to except you. <3 sara
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