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E.D.
Okay, so I have a serious problem. I have been struggling with anorexia and bulimia for 2 years now. I'm surprised I'm not too weak to type. I've been to the doctor, I've been to eating disorder facilities, i've been to group help session, and i'm still the way i am.
i'm 5'9" and i weigh about 100-110 pounds... and i'm getting thinner. When i went for help, i was better for a little bit, but it always came back, after someone would make a fat joke or anything. I know i'm struggling for an impossible goal. I just don't know what to do, my mom doesn't know what to do, my friends don't know what to do. I'm running out of ideas to save myself! help me!
-Save my Soul
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
That is a very serious problem. I can't relate, and I've never been through anything like that so I'm not even going to pretend like I have. But I can attempt to offer some help. I give you kudos for actually having the strength and wisdom to seek help. I'm sorry that it hasn't been working out for you though. Maybe it would be a good idea to continue the group sessions once again. It might have not worked the first time, but it could be possible the second time around. If things don't progress, maybe it would be best to seek out some sort of rehab center that could help you deal with your problem and see you through until you're back on the right track.
Also, think positively. You did start to get better at one point: so therefore it's not impossible! And surround yourself with positive, considerate people who won't tell fat jokes (even if their not directed at you -- which would make no sense anyway) and will help you to feel better about yourself. I believe that you can do it. If you've had the will power to seek help and even get better in the past, you can do it again.
I really sincerely hope the best for you. I don't like to see (or hear about, in this case) anyone in this kind of situation. You are most definitley in my thoughts and prayers <3.
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I understand what you have gone through is so difficult but I know you can get through this if you keep trying.
To be anorexic/bulimic, it takes a huge amount of will-power. Every day you deny yourself, every day you force yourself to do something that is completely against nature. You push yourself to the limits each day looking for a new goal.
What you might not HONESTLY realize is that your goal will never exist. Your goal is not real. Yes, you can make it down to 90lbs of bone that cannot function as life, but you will still thrive to be 85lbs then. If you made it to 85lbs, you would still push yourself to get to 80lbs. Your "goals" do not exist, you see, and you won't ever be satisfied. You will ALWAYS be "fat" and all of the untrue bullshit you tell yourself every day.
I have watched a lot of videos about eating disorders, searching for material to post here in hopes of helping people going through this problem. I found this woman that really touched me deeply, bringing tears to my eyes. Here is Courtney Blair Cameron a few years back:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
She might remind you of yourself now or in the past even. She is so hardcore eating disorder you wouldn't believe her newer videos. You see, Courtney really hated the idea of GAINING weight, and she really hated the idea of getting BETTER. She confesses that she "needs help" in a later video but only so that she can fit into society better, which she claims hates her only because anorexics are beautiful and "normal" people are not so they are envious. She states "...what they don't realize is those [overweight] people are doing as much damage to their bodies as I am doing to MY body..." while trying to claim that she is healthier than "fat" people.
Courtney asks for prayer from viewers in a later video. She makes fun of someone reaching out to her (while the previous video she claims that nobody even tries to reach out) in the beginning of the video, ending it all with asking out to viewers' prayers:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Courtney was lying to herself, if you haven't figured it out. Most people with eating disorders are lying to themselves, their friends, and their family members because of their obsession. They KNOW the truth, but they continue to lie in hopes of deceiving themselves.
Suddenly, one day Courtney posts a video. Apparently those prayers she asked for came through and God knew it was time for Courtney to change and stop this madness. Courtney, ecstatic, had finally had a break-through...FOR REAL:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I can't really give you much advice other than to stop lying to yourself and everyone around you. Being honest is going to help you pull out of it now so you don't end up bed-ridden because your body cannot support itself. Yes, I've seen that happen.
Reach out to God and don't lie about it. Don't ask for prayers when you are obviously not seeking help. Surround yourself with God, do His will. Get involved with helping others and I'm sure you'll see how it will become easier and easier to help yourself. You CAN make it through this if you put your mind to it. It's an every day struggle, as Courtney says here while asking for tips on how to get through each day successfully:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
God can help you if you are honest and open to Him. What you are doing is so dangerous and definately does not make you pretty:
1. Hair loss
2. Gaunt, hollow facial features
3. Shrunken breasts
4. Dry skin
5. Bruises
6. Sharply protruding bones
7. Cold and blue hands and feet
8. Delayed puberty: preadolescent females fail to menstruate and develop breasts at normal age. In males, testosterone levels might remain low, leading to impotence.
9. Menstruation: hormone levels drop, alerting the body that it cannot support a fetus; menstruation becomes irregular or stops completely - can result in temporary or permanent infertility
10. Permanent bone loss: susceptibility to stress fractures and osteoporosis
11. Mood changes: impatience, irritability, depression, suicidal tendencies
12. Insomnia, constipation, sensitivity to cold, kidney failure, abnormally low heart rate and blood pressure
13. Cardiac arrythmias, heart failure, death
One day at a time. You can do this. It CAN be done.
Put your control in not eating, to eating on a plan. Plan out your meals each day, a week in advance, with your mother. Pick foods that are healthier than others--like wheat bread instead of white. It's alright to be picky about what you put into your body. Check off each meal or food you successfully had on your list and kept down every day so you can see your progress. Count your calories so you can meet the required amount:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and remember to eat healthy, getting your daily requirements of meats, vegetables, dairy, breads, fruits, etc:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Meat/Poutry/Fish/Dry Beans/Eggs/Nuts: 2 - 3 servings daily
Milk/Yogurt/Cheese: 2 - 3 servings daily
Fruits: 2 - 4 servings daily
Vegetables: 3 - 5 servings daily
Bread/Cereal/Rice/Pasta: 6 - 11 servings daily
Your goal should be health. Obsess about getting and remaining healthy instead of being thin.
It's good to exercise so keep that up if you have exercise routine, but do not push yourself until you get sick. Make your new goal on getting healthier and fit. Be determine to gain so much weight in MUSCLE (which means working out) and then keep your body at that size in healthy ways of exercising and eating. Control your HEALTH. When you need guidance or feel you're being tempted, pray out to God for strength to get through another day.
I am praying for you. I hope things get better and you learn to control your health instead of your death.
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Dear save my soul,
First off a lot of people have the same problem, but are having trouble even admitting it so it is really good that you could do that. You have to realize that no one else can solve this problem but you. You have to think about the fact that you are killing yourself by doing this and if its really worth it anymore. My frind had this same problem and I told her to get a diary. Every day she would write down what she ate and when she ate it. When she really needed help she would call me and i would talk her through it. It might be up to you to fix this but you should not have to do it alone. Like yourself for who you are not what other people say you are. I hope this helps.
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