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Does she want to leave me?
m/24
Lately, my girlfriend and I keep fighting. I get the distinct feeling that all her comments like I don't take anything seriously (which I only seem to because she takes everything seriously, and I thought that was something about our relationship balance, I'm mellow and she's rigid).
We had a fight about names for kids (which I think shouldn't have been a fight since we haven't done to make children a factor in our lives). She thinks I never compromise anything while she has to give everything up.
Near as I can tell, I've compromised on more stuff like her. I freaking skipped out on a family member's birthday to help her find her wallet. I'm still making up for that in the eyes of my parents.
I'm a patient guy. I try to be understanding. But I need to know if all these stupid fights are a sign that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, even subconsciously.
Help?
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So... let's address this in what I find interesting order.
Ya'll fought about the names of children you do not have? Do you think that's because she wants them and doesn't know how you'd feel about the idea? I know I did that to my man when I wanted kids. Why we always think that subtle hints will work I don't know, but maybe you should look into that.
So, she's uptight, you're not, and you want to know what the fighting means? It means that she's uptight and you're not. Contrary to popular belief, two complete opposites rarely get anywhere in a relationship. It's a psychological proven fact.
Maybe she loves you, and you her, but that doesn't always mean a happily ever after... sadly.
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Dump her ovioisly she doesnt know how much you are worth. I would die to have a guy like you!
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Relationships have ups and downs. There are going to be disagreements, differences as well as distance.
Balance and imbalance - When relationships aren't balanced, sometimes it's a plus but ONLY if it benefits both partners. I'll give you an example: I am an accountant, therefore I am good with money. He isn't good with money at all and so he knows this, he gives me his money instead of him doing what he wants to do with it. In the past that was argument material - but now, it's not.
Take a look at what you are arguing about? Is it petty stuff, like not taking out the trash? Is it major stuff like, trust issues?? If the arguments and fights can be resolved, worked out and made to balance out where both are gaining instead of one person gaining, then work it out and stop thinking that she wants to leave you. If the fights are started up for one to have a reason to vacate and leave, I would question her desire to be in a relationship with you. If you are the one initiating it, then I question your desire to be with her. Also, since you posing the question, ask yourself is it actually you who wants out?
People who are in relationships don't tend to just say I want out of this.. they allow things to happen that throw up signals- like more arguing, fighting, change in conversation, change in activities, change interest and attention - if these signals are happening, then yes she most likely is desiring to get out of this with you and doesn't want to tell you, and so just ask her. If it is you, then tell her that you want out of it. Either way, be happy.. work it out or leave it alone.
PLEASE refrain from throwing up and/or comparing what you have done for her or if you have done more than she has done.. When something is done in a relationship it is done out of love, once it's thrown up or compared then your efforts or deed mean jack and become less appreciated, which in return make you feel like you aren't appreciated- which leads to another fight! TALK, TALK, TALK.. discuss what's being felt and LISTEN to what's being felt and come to an agreement to stay or stray. Let her know that it's cool if she wants to leave you, and that she can tell you that without any retaliation, or revenge or yelling.. that's why people keep it in, so that they don't have to go out with a big bang.
Keep it real! good luck in whatever you two decide.
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You will never find out if she wants to leave you unless you ask her, but with that in mind, it's probably not the way to go about things.
This reminds me alot of my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm not a love guru but i am a bit like your girlfriend in the way i tend to make everything seem my boyfriends fault and im too stubborn to accept any of it is mine.
Mostly i say things to him that i dont really mean, alot of it because im a bit of an emotional person and he always seems to upset me at the wrong time.
It could be probable that she may be bothered by something that may not even be related to you.
Dont doubt your relationship though. If you keep thinking she may leave you, you might bring it into an argument and it might end your relationship.
Talk to her about how you feel and the things she says. Confront her. Tell her the things you do for her and how it's not just a one sided argument. You dont have to provoke the argument just stand up for yourself and dont let her walk all over you.
To girls like me, i need my boyfriend to confront me when im blaming him when im also at fault, and i realise what ive done and apologise.
I cant possibly tell you if she is leaving you or not, but if this is troubling you, sit down and have a calm talk to her.
Sorry i couldn't be of any more help, i hope it all works out.
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