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i feel as if this is my fault.
ok so. my boyfriend and i have been kind of talking about the possibility of sex for a while? not actually saying "hey, lets have sex on THIS day" or whatever, but just like "yeah i want to," and yeah. well the past few times i went there things had gotten pretty heavy, but his friend was always in his room with us, so i always made him stop. but yesterday his friend wasnt there and we were making out on his bed. eventually i pulled apart from him for a second and pulled out a condom a brought. and i asked "how far are you willing to go with this?" and he kind of looked at me as if i was crazy or high or something.
I HAD NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED IN MY LIFE. he was feeling me up and we were making out for what it seemed like 4-6 minutes! am i getting mixed signals here??? did i do something wrong? i dont even really know why i did that except for the fact that i thought something was about to happen. i talked to him later last night on aim. and he said he didnt want to because he loved me. WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!??!! i think im kinda ready. and hes not a virgin! so i dont get it! can someone attempt to explain this to me? im avoiding him now and i dont wanna talk to him and i wont for a while but i think im wrecking everything but im just so confused. HELP?? thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1) Hes a virgin
2) Hes very nervous (Possibly because he's a virgin and lied about it)
3) VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN!
Sorry, had to get that out of my system.
He's inexperienced, regardless of virginity loss or not. You startled him because he probably was nowhere near actually expecting to get laid, he probably figured he was going to have to work up the nerve. When you asked him, it knocked his world upside down.
Talk to him. Ask him if he really wants to or if he wants to wait. Tell him you want to do whatever he wants to do, but tell him that the option is open if and when he wants it.
I'm betting three days. Probably less.
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just because a guy is not a virgin doesn't mean he wont pass up a chance on sex. i had the sorta same situation but i asked him if he wanted to and he said he did but he wouldnt because he loved me. i felt like wait is there something wrong with me am i not turning him on or what. but it turns out that he cared and he knew that i might not be ready and what would happen if i wasnt. i broke up with him 2months later. guess it wasnt meant to be. just trust yourself and try to trust your boyfriend. but if things dont turn out exactly as planned then dont be too let down.
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well he is just as confused as you are apparently dear. just take things slower for awhile. it'll be alright okay? and, make sure you are ready.you saying ' i think i'm ready to have sex' doesn't mean that you are. kay? you might not be. i lost my virginity at 16, and thought i was ready, and wasn't. i wish i would have waited longer.
maybe he just doesn't want to ruin things with you b/c he's afraid that after you two have sex, you'll feel differently about him and maybe resent him for rushing into having sex. or it's just an exuse him saying i love you, he could possibly be cheating.
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well.. if you just THINK your ready, it would be safe for you not to do it yet. he might just have freaked out a bit because hes not ready and although it can be fun to talk about it can be scary to do. if someone is not a virgin they might still wanna take some more time, and with every new person it can be like a first time all over again. make sure you both are really ready for it and comfortable at the time. dont blame yourself, just take it slower.
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