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boyfriend of two years
I'm 17 F and me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years this September. I love him, I really do. But idk how to really say it, but I just want to be a 17 year old and not a married old lady. Thats how I feel sometimes. My boyfriend has been there for me A LOT. I mean, he is great, we have our little fights, but I mean who don't? I NEVER cheated on him, and same for him to me. He's in college, and I'm a junior in hs, but hes home now, and I still have school left for a couple more weeks. So we're together a lot now. Hes not the hottest thing, but I don't care, I love him for how he is to me, and how wonderful he is. I love him, I do, but sometimes I wonder why did I get into a relationship so young like this. We started dating when I was 15, and I'll be 17 in a week. I know he's older and hes ready for this kind of relationship, but I'm not sure if I really am. It's hard, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to think everyday "why am I with him, when I'm not even sure what I really want." And I don't want it to go to the point where I'll cheat on him b/c I'm not sure what I want, and lose him forever. He's said if I would ever break up with him, he won't talk to me again. But how can you really do that to someone you love with all your heart, when all I would be doing is being honest with him. I need help =[
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok.
First, accept the fact that you aren't going to marry this guy. Do you know why high school relationships almost never work out? Because everyone changes as you get over. You arent the woman you were two years ago when you first fell for him. You aren't going to be the woman you are more than another year or two. Thats just how it is, you grow, mature, and change.
Unfortunately, these changes can make compatible people incompatible. Thats why people say don't get married until you get older. Because as you grow and mature, the rate of change changes. It slows. And so you can be compatible with people for a good while.
You're going to keep changing. He's not going to as much, as he is older. At some point, it will be time to end it.
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I think the whole 'putting things on hold' thing is ridiculous. I def understand where you're coming from. You're young, and not ready for such a serious relationship. What you need to do is ask yourself--do you want to see what else is out there or do you think you've found the one but don't want to have all the seriousness of a relationship yet?
If you want to see what else is out there then let him know. Because if you don't, you've already predicted what might happen--cheating. So break it off and if you end up back together in the future then all is good.
If you honestly love him and things are just too serious--let him know. So things down. Go on cute dates that new couples go on. Don't let the future be a problem. When he's home, y'all don't always have to be together--only spend time with each other when you miss each other and want to hang out--instead of when you feel like you should have out. Just be 'dating'. Exclusive but nothing serious.
And with either option--don't jump into anything sexual with other guys. Don't let this turn into that because it usually does for many people. Let it be about learning and meeting others.
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Im 14 but i had the same problem. And what i did was put things on hold. not end them but just put it on hold until wer 20 or w.e. because by then well both know what we want.
that might work for you. goodluck!
you might also want to try distancing yourself a little bit. you will never know if hes the one unless you get to see other people . try making your relationhip un-exclusive and date other guys. if you miss him that muuch, you know hes mr. right!
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