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mom...bf...me...dillema
17/f.
bf is 18
hi...i need some advice =].. my whole life i've let my mom intimidate me and control it... when she feels like she loses control of me she goes on a rampage.. a couple of months ago, my bf and my mom had an encounter... she was talking and he just walked out... from that day on she dOESNT want me with him. but i care for him alot.. we been through alot of things even though we've only been dating for 6 months... what should i do? i stood up to her, and told her i was still dating him... she was mighty pissed... but i cant let her run my life forever... any advice?
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Respect, respect, respect, it would do better if you told us why there is so little respect paid to your mom and why she pays you so little. Are you known for making bad decisions, or treating her with disrespect? Does your boy friend know what respect is? Overbearing, control freak, whatever you want to call her, is that respect? She has got to this point in life and more so, got you to this point in life and you owe her more then that. You should be mad at your boy friend, not your mother, though I do not support her disrespect of you either. It is not your place, or your boy friends, to tell your mother anything, nor is it her place to make demands of whom you spend your time with, (at 17). Speak of respect with your mom and your boy friend and start acting as though you are due it.
Be well
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well i would, when you can talk to your mother on a good day and it be positive, i would tell her i was sorry for my boyfriend's actions but you are not him and he has his own mind. Tell her that you feel that you shouldn't be punished for something he did. You don't say what this encounter was about so she may have some vaild reasons she doesn't want you around him. You need to hear out these reasons and take them to heart. If it is just because she wants to get back at him thru you then you need to talk to her and let her know that you feel that is unfair to you since you are in the middle. You can only improve his and your mothers relationship by staying mutual and not picking sides. She may never forgive him, but in many people's book that is unchristian. As for standing up to her. Why? It sounds like you are standing up for him and this will only make her angry. I would tell her you agree with her that his actions was wrong but its not your fault that they can't make up or come to an agreement.
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Well i'm with you, its your life and as long as your not doing anything stupid she should be able to trust you...unfortunately parents arent that easy. If she is stubborn she is going to keep insisting you break up with him. try to keep your relationship with your bf and your relationship with your mom. But do let her know that you care about him and want her to give him another chance on behalf of your happiness. as long as she knows in the back of her mind that you try to respect her as your mother she may still try to control you but in the end (it may take weeks or months) she will realise that you are happy and she is going to have to deal with it. I can't give you advice on how to make her less controlling, shes been doing it for 17 years a couple of words isn''t going to change her mind. But be strong and don't stress out. Just remember she is your mother she will always love you so she kinda has to accept your decisions. You just can't give up and continue to be respectful to her.
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tell her your respect her, and what she wants but it's also your life too. and she can't tell you how to live your life. tell her that dating him ultimately is your decision. and she should give him another chance.
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