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Cant reach orgasm
16/f.Lately ive been trying to masturbate while watching porn but I just cant get turned on. I used to get aroused really easily, even when watching a tv show. Ive tried different places, different techniques and I noticed the right atmosphere helps..but then when i start getting turned on its like I remember what Im trying to do and it just goes away..and when i try to masturbate my mind constantly is jumping to other thoughts, like 'this is stupid' or 'nothings happening' or 'im wasting time'. Also, I kind of know Im putting too much pressure on myself so Im not doing it spontaneously enough. Its like im consciously ordering my body to enjoy itself and reach orgasm, but I just cant. I also have never reached orgasm so Im not sure what to expect. Porn just isnt having the effect on me that it used to, but I noticed that girl-on-girl action is much more appealing than a guy's sexual parts involved. Whenever I feel slightly turned on and a guy's cock(sorry to be so frank) comes into the picture, I lose all stimulae whatsoever, not like there was much in the first place. Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
Well, for the most part, you're right about putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to not try to force things because it really doesn't work. First off you should really wait until you're actually in the mood before trying to masturbate, secondly, when you do start don't try to force yourself to orgasm or anything like that. It's a natural thing and if it's going to happen then it will without you stressing yourself out over it.
Of course that's not to say that there aren't things you can do to make it easier for yourself to orgasm. The biggest thing you can ever do is just learn to relax and enjoy it, don't sit there waiting for the climax. Besides that there's other little tricks you can do. Physically speaking, there's little excersizes you can do on your kegal muscle (it's the one you'd use to stop yourself when you're peeing). To work out that muscle squeeze it for 5 seconds then release it, do that 15 times, 3 reps a day (So pretty much you can do it with breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Doing that will both help you improve your sex drive as well as increase your ability to oragasm and make it possible to have them faster and more frequently (in other words can make you able to have multiple orgasms).
If your thinking your biggest problem is just not being able to stay turned on, then there's mind trick you can play. First off, don't do anything sexual to yourself for a while, even if you get turned on. Set a date for when you'll allow yourself to masturbate again and make sure you hold out till then, till that time feel free to fantasize and tease yourself as much as possible, because the more you do the more intense you can make it for yourself. When the time comes around your body will be extra sensitive from the lack of attention. This trick is also good in relationships for couples.
Finally, the last thing you need to remember is that sexual activity actually takes a lot of energy from the body. This means that things like not eatting properly and not sleeping properly will have a massive effect on how your body will respond. Also, things like how active you are on a day to day basis will also effect it. Excersize is a great way to increase your sex drive (it releases most of the same chemicals into your system as sex).
Well, I hope this helps you. If you have any more questions just drop me a line.
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The easiest answer I can give you is to only masturbate if you are already turned on. Setting aside some time to 'force' yourself to masturbate just won't work. A huge problem many people have with sexual arousal and orgasming isn't from their bodies, it's from their minds.
If you feel pressured to perform, worried about what's wrong with you, or have a grim determination to just keep going - it's not going to work. If you're masturbating and just don't feel like it anymore, stop. There's nothing wrong with that.
Hormones fluctuate a lot during the teen years, and women's arousal levels also change depending on when in their menstrual cycle it is. This is normal.
Wait till you're turned on, alone, and then you can see what you like. If porn doesn't work for you, you could tailor make your own sexual fantasies - using your imagination. That way, you can visualise whatever people you want!
Men are generally more turned on by visual stimulation (though of course women are, too), and women generally are more excited by fantasy. Give it a whirl.
If you are worried about your sexuality, that could also have an impact on your sexual functioning. If girls are more appealing than boys at this point (in fantasy OR reality), so be it. Try relaxing and just accepting yourself and the situation for what it is.
I wish you the best.
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