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Ethnicity- Should i be proud of who i am?!
15/f
Sophmore
So everyone in my science class knows my background (ethnicity).I'm proud of who and what I am. Although, people are sort of starting to make fun of me. For example, this boy named Fabian asks me questions from time to time about what language i speak and where the country is located etc. And so I tell him. But now it's getting out of control. He knows this boy that has the same ethnicity as me and he tried to hook us up! LIKE NO, YOU DON'T DO THAT!!! I never asked for a boyfriend and i don't want one. And now he's asking everyone about my ethnicity.It's sort of hard to explain but he's doing it in a way so that i look bad. And then later on today he came up to me and said that my background's people made cookies from dirt and water. AND IT'S JUST LIKE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION CORRECTLY!!!! ALL ANSWERS GREATLY APPRECIATED
***ASAP***
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Fabian is such a beautiful name.
But for your advice. You really shouldn't care what people think and I know it can get annoying like a fly that's buzzing around your face and you really want to swat it. On the other hand you can also get back at Fabian by making fun of him.
Best of Luck.
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There is a high likelihood that they way he is asking and what he is saying is ending up making you look bad.
That being said... he may actually be interested in you and/or your ethnicity and want more information... and just not know how to express this given he sounds a bit immature.
I suggest one of two things, or even both. If he starts saying things to you and you are either alone or there aren't too many people around, I would be very polite (politeness is extremely important here) and tell him that what he is saying offends you. For example, "Listen Joe Bob, I think you may be trying to be funny but I have to say, you are really being offensive and I do not appreciate it. I would really like it if you would stop making crude comments about my ethnic background".
My second suggestion could actually tie in with the first one. Give him information about you... or really, your heritage. Find some really good information in a book, online, from your family, whatever. Compile it into an information packet, but not too extensive. Try to narrow it down to one or two pages. The next time he starts in, and possibly at the same time that you tell him he is hurting your feelings, tell him if he really has that much interest in your background, to get his facts straight. No one should be passing false information around. It makes that person quite ignorant.
You can find the most incredible information about any ethnicity if you look in the right places. You can find things that really build you up and make you seem like you are the superior race. If you look somewhere else, you can find out that perhaps in history, your "people" did some pretty disgraceful things that you really don't care to discuss with anyone as that would admit that it could have been one of your relatives way back when doing that disgraceful thing. I would stick to looking up the positive things about your race, obviously. Every race in history has it's proud moments and the not so proud moments. What ever background this boy has definitely has negatives, I guarantee that. It would be mature of you not to do too much research on this to wave in his face... but still. Just know that no matter what bad things he says to you, he is just being an immature teenaged boy who would be doing himself much more good if he kept his mouth shut.
Your original question was "Should I be proud of who I am?!". The absolute answer to this is- are you a good person? Do you help others? Are you a kind, supportive, honest friend? Then yes. You should be proud of who you are. Even if you are a second generation neanderthal, you should be proud of who you are. It is what is in your heart and your morales. Not what your point of origin on the lattitude/longitude lines is.
Best of luck.
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Hell yes, you should be proud of who you are. That boy really needs to just chill with all he is doing...in a way, I think he is pretty interested with you, but...Oo it's so weird that he is doing that. I suggest you do a couple of things...
1. Pull him over to the side one day so that you can talk to him alone. Tell him everything that you are feeling when he does that, and everything. And get the point across that he NEEDS to stop. If he tries to ignore what you are saying, and what not, say in a stren voice "Listen, this is really important" then just say everything you told us in your question but make sure you are cool, calm, and collected ^^
2. Okay, let's say that he said he would quit but he hasn't, go over to him again and ask "Dude, I thought you said you would stop, why haven't you yet?" or something along those lines. Sometimes when people get used to saying stuff and doing stuff, they need a...reminder that they said they would stop.
3. If he still hasn't stopped, I would tell a teacher and explain everything in a calm and mature manner. Sometimes no matter what you do, an adult needs to handle it...
I hoped I helped! ^^ I wish you the best of luck as well!
~Vera
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