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insecure?
alright so last night my boyfriend and i finally spent the night together after 2 months going out...im 16 and so is he, and he like wanted to have sex witch so did i.. and i like reached down to his pants and he like grabbed my hand? and wouldn't let me do anything.. so like.. it was really weird, we didn't end up having sex though because it got awkward after that and i just lost the motive to do anything i guess you could say hah. i think he is insecure about his penis im not sure if its because he is a virgin and im not... or what but i tried telling him it didnt matter but he changed the subject.. how can i approach this and tell him i dont care how big he is or not without him changing the subject. I think he feels bad but he wont let me tell him its ok.. its an odd situation but any advice on what i should do will help thanks.
[[please don't lecture me that were to young or something stupid like that]] thank you.
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Reassuring him about size and whatnot is helpful - don't get me wrong... However, don't forget, as well, that after two months, he may not be ready to have sex! The stereotype that guys are always ready and that it's up to girls to decide when is not necessarily always true. Try talking to him about him, saying something like "Are you comfortable with me touching you down there? I don't want to do anything you won't want to do 100 percent." and see how he feels about everything. Remember that size may not be the only thing he's uncomfortable about.
Take some of the focus off the physicals the next time and have a few dates where nothing is expected. Maybe you'll have sex, maybe not, but regardless, try slowing it down until his comfort level seems equal to yours.
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I'm totally not going to lecture you because I did it before I was 16. My current boyfriend was kind of like that when we first started dating. Like you I wasn't a virgin and he was, at first he was kind of worried about it and stopped me, I just told him that I cared about him and it wouldn't matter to me. Make sure you keep reassuring him, the next time he makes you stop look at him push his hand away and tell him its okay haha. Sometimes boys need a little motivation, so maybe you could let him do stuff to you first that might help him. Or get him so turned on he can't help himself haha.
Most importantly talk to him about it. Whether he likes it or not you two are going to have to discuss this. Talking about it will make you both more comfortable about it. Most people say if you can't talk about sex with your partner then you shouldn't be doing it with them. I do agree with that, you need to be able to communicate with the person so you both know all the responsibilities you are getting into by engaging in sex. Let him know that you care about him and want to please him and that you won't judge him by the size of his penis. That may help, if not it may just take time.
Hope I Helped.
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Hey there no lectures by me I know plenty of people who did it way younger than sixteen and anyway sixteen is legal in the uk where Im from!!
Perhaps he is just nervous that he wont be good. maybe you guys should try starting slow you know kissing etc before the reaching, to get him more comfortable.
But one thing not to do is well this may sound wrong but dont tell him you dont care how big he is etc otherwise hell maybe take offence ya know??
Get him alone and before you do anything tell him your fears if any and then try and get him to tell you his fears and then try again with the kissing etc first then the sex if you get what I mean??
good luck, I hope it all works out and that you guys last.
I hope I helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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