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My parents are strict especialy about boys.
Hello. I am a first time user so i don't know exactly what to say. first i will expalin my problem. I am in highschool and i know dating isnt the biggest worry for me but its fun and something i would like to start doing. My parents disagree with me. They think i am to young to date. I have a boyfriend secretly right now. I dont know what to do. He says he is ok with my situation because he knows how my parents are. (he has never met them only heard stories). Can you help me either try to reason with my parents or give me advice to atleast get my parents to let me HANG OUT with guys (yea i am not even alowed to hang out with a guy this advice might be a toughy)
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It would help if I knew how old you are. If you have just started High School and are only 14 or so, then I can understand your parents concern. But if you are already about to graduate HS, then they should be more understanding and loosen up a bit. I know where you are coming from. When I was 15, I was secretly "seeing" a guy, and to this day (I am now almost 24!), my parents have no idea we were more than friends. We weren't exactly going out, but we made out at school (haha, puppy love!), and secretly met up at the movies, but it was only once. I was not honest about it because I knew my parents would disapprove. He said he didn't care, but he had no reason to- we were both very young. So anyway, just know that I completely understand how you feel now.
But at the same time, in order to give you a well-rounded answer, I have to assess the situation from your parents viewpoint as well. They are only looking out for you, and if you are still very young, then they have a right to be set boundaries. But still, you are your own person, and want to experience different things. It would be great if you could be totally open about these things with your parents, but not all parents are loose and "cool" (believe me, you will understand their concern in a few years time...really!). I would suggest having a talk with them. Express your viewpoint and opinions as thoroughly as you can. Make sure that they understand your concerns too, that you are growing up and also would like to hang out with guys too. And here's the most important point: be sure to tell them that you can hang out as friends, in a group. Trust me. When I was growing up, that was a big thing for my parents. They tend to be more understanding if you tell them that you are simply hanging out with a bunch of friends, in addition to a guy you are interested in. It makes them feel more comfortable. Think about it- if you were a parent, your mind would wander too (" they're so young! He has raging hormones and will.....") seriously, that is their mentality. Try to give them updates too. Try going out as a group to begin with, and let them know that you simply went out to dinner, movie, etc., AS A GROUP. Even when you're out with a group of people, you can give each other attention too. When your parents see that you are handling yourself well, then in time they will be okay with you dating. In the meantime, when you do meet a guy, start slow. Go on group dates, and agree to meet after school, etc., to see how things go. You might need to reassure your parents that you are a smart girl and will be respectful to yourself. Guys may often think with their little head, lol, but they are human too. Your parents may understand that if you talk to them about it, let them know you have boundaries for yourself too, and will also try hanging out with a number of friends too, rather than exclusively with one guy.
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I'm in the same situation, except I don't have a boyfriend. My parents don't let me hang with guys--alone. I talked with my dad, and he said he'd be okay with it if when I hung out with guys, I had to have at least one other girl-friend with me. I haven't talked to my mom yet, though, but she's just...whatever. Do something that would make them trust you. DO NOT TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND!! They would be soo angry and not trust you for so long. You have to sit and talk with them for you to hang out with guys, so it's okay to be chilling. Don't raise your voice and just calmly explain that you might be missing out because your girlfriends always hang with guys, or something. Even try crying a little. Good luck!
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