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iambic pentameter
can someone read the poem i wrote and make sure it has iambic pentameter and the rhyme scheme- abab cdcd efef gg, like shakespeare's works. also please check and see if its a good poem and any changes i can make. thanks so much
"Love"
Love is an amazing feeling, leaving
A gigantic mark, almost all will face. It
Also can end in some people grieving.
In relationships, you need to commit.
You need to speak up and say “I love you.”
Just remember that it all can be lost;
And keep in mind you will always get through.
You know true love as well as you know frost,
At times it can be depressing and cold,
Especially when its hidden from your
Heart. That’s why you need to tightly hold.
There is no need to start another war.
No need for forcing, your soul-mate will come
Don’t wait for them by being a lazy bum.
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Ok, there are several problems with this. The second line is 11 syllables, too many. the third line of the third verse is only 9 syllables, and the last line of th poem is 11 syllables.
I can help you fix this. Lets see...
"A very large mark, most all will face it." This way, you don't have to change the last word of the line.
"At times it can be depressing and cold
Mostly when it's hidden from the heart's door
That is why you need to so tightly hold
There is no need to start another war."
And the last line...
"Do not wait by being a lazy bum"
I have had lots of practice with sonnets. I have had to write a total of 10 or 11 on my own for school. I am sorry if i could not help you, but other than those little things, its a good poem. And don't listen to Alin. He doesn't know what he is talking about. Iambic Pentameter means 10 sylables per line, and the stress/unstress is something you do automatically when you read it out loud. Trust me. It really does.
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This is not iambic pentameter. Iambic is a series of unstress- stress (da- DUM da- DUM etc). There is no way that your poem follows that (it breaks it everywhere, including the first line).
Here check out the wiki link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The rhyme scheme is as you intended it. In terms of improving the quality, I would focus on trying not to make the rhymes seem forced... e.g. "as you know frost", "to start another war".
Good luck.
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