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i feel really bad. today my boyfriend came over and we were making out and he started kinda fingering me over my pants..i didnt let him go in them..but hes never done it before and it HURT! at first he was gentle then he started like jamming them and his nails were hurting me and i was like whoa stop be gentle and he stopped and then a few mins later he started doing it again and i didnt wanna hurt his feelings and be like IT HURTS! because that would make him feel REALLLY REALLY guilty because he cares about me alot. i'm crazy about him but now my crotch is really sore its like the right inside part of the lip is hurting so bad and i dont know what to do or how to tell him next time. also, i feel that things are happening too fast. im waiting to have sex, thats not the problem, its just htat i planned for all this to happen way later on and i know he loves me for who i am thats not the problem i just wanna start spending more time actually talking to each other and cuddling rather than always ending up doing this. (not that i dont like it but you know) sorry this is kinda 2 questiosn in one but any help is needed.
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The fact that he stopped shows that he wasn't trying to force you into anything, which is good. You don't have to make him feel bad about it, but you SHOULD let him know that he was hurting you a bit. Ask him to be more gentle, maybe even guide his hand at first so he knows what would feel good to you. Communication is key here. I'm sure HE would tell you if you started to hurt him, so don't be afraid to speak up. Also, if you're more relaxed it'll be much more enjoyable for both of you.
If there's a time you don't want to do anything sexual, you have several options. You could say "Hey, let's just cuddle for now" or something similar. If he's a good guy (and since he stopped he appears to be) he'll respect your boundaries. But don't get mad at him for trying. If you don't set these boundaries he won't know what they are & this is his way of finding out, unless you speak up. You can move his hand(s) away or just hold them, which he probably won't mind most of the time. Or, you could go somewhere with him, which opens up MANY opportunities to simply spend time together: double (or even single) date, go for a walk, hang out with mutual friends, or spend some time talking to his family (they won't bite! and if you have a good relationship with his parents that earns major points with them too!)
Best of luck :]
-LM
[16/f]
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Well. You have to tell him somehow. The next time he does kinda just guide him to it. Tell him to be more gentle. Or like tell him to rub it first nd when it gets wet tell him to stick one finger in but go slow. Now on the other question if you dont wanna start doing that just tell him. Dont be scared. Its your opinion nd if he just doesnt get that you wanna wait a while then hes not the right guy you should be wit. I hope i helped! :]
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well answeres is hat your gonna get hehe,,,,i know how you feel exatly have the same problem only doest hurt..it just it moving to fast for me...what you need ot do ..and the only thing to do is to tell him about it..dont sya liek yea wel i hateds your figerign me hha say can we spaend the day just watchign movies and dont bring up anythignsexua l and if he starts just say im not in the mood right now..or just pull awya before he doesn aything and just say lets watch the movie and right after cuddle up right next to him andmake feel not bad but happy....and jst watch the movie if his a smart boy hell et the fact that you just wanna see ht emovie or just hang out beaucse its not always should you guys be sexualy active..any othe r qesutions dont hesistate to ask =)
xox y.B good Luck!
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