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What to do??!!
I've known this girl for almost 2 years. Last July she moved in, right after breaking up with her ex. It is my fault for starting something before she ended the last. She lived here and then went back to him. Did this for about 8 months now. Well, she has been gone for a month and a half with him. She says she knows she needs to move on. She cares for me and sees herself with me eventually. There has never been a time that we stopped calling or seeing each other. I know she cares. She even told me if we moved away it would make things easier letting go of him. Well, I have given her an ultimatum to call me Friday to discuss what we are going to do. As a girl that doesn't like being told what to do, she didn't respond. But, not this weekend she has called several times a day. I told her if we didn't talk Friday night that we were through and I was moving on. Do I take this as though she wants to work something out, or should I move on? I've tried really hard and sacrificed a lot knowing she isn't ready for what I have to offer yet, but I feel she is worth it.
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A girl who 'doesn't like being told what to do' is one thing.
A girl who willfully ignores your feelings for months, uses you as a safety net and to bolster her own self esteem and then abandons you when you express the fact you are a human being with emotional needs... well, that is another thing all together.
Your girl seems to fall in the latter type.
I doubt she wants to move forward with you on this subject. More likely she wants to move back. She wants to move back to the status quo, and to the way things were before you put your foot down. To where everything was always about her needs and she gets to treat you like dirt because of her 'problems' and how 'stressed out' she is. She wants you to want her again, without her having to DO anything with respect to your wishes to earn that adoration or respect, and without her having to compromise her own wishes. She wants what she had: Both of you. Waiting for her. To support and love her.
Anyways, if you feel compelled (for some unimaginable reason) to give this girl another opportunity, at the very most I suggest you give her another ultimatum: Call me a month after you dump him, then maybe we can talk.
There is nothing else that can come of this (except for prolonging your own misery) until she makes some indication that she is actually willing to move forward in her life, (without depending on you or him) to hold her up.
Stop trying to be the Knight in Shining Armor; you aren't the fairy tale prince. You are human being with needs and goal and wishes. Don't pretend you aren't. Only then will you be able to tell if this girl really likes the human being you are, or if she is just looking for a Knight to play the supporting role in her own private story.
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I think if you think she is worth it wait for her, the thing is if she doesn't like being told what to do if you told her she HAD to call you Friday she is going to push your buttons and see if she can still get you back, don't just ditch her if you want to be with her you are going to have to wait. If you don't want to wait for her tell her..
hope i helped.
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dont take her back until shes brocken up with her ex and has been over him for a few months, that way you know she isnt playing games.
but dont get your hopes up. it seems to me she dosent have a clue what she wants.
and you deserve better than that.
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