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Help with Aloof girlfriend
My girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship. Our conversations are largely internet messaging and phone convos. However she seems to be very closed off. It's almost difficult for me to get a word about herself out and she hates answering questions. I try to strike up conversation, but she seems to shy away from anything related to her life. It takes a lot of manipulation just to learn her favorite food/color/tv show/etc.
I'm not sure what to do. I really love her, but it's like she's barely there. Any ideas guys? (breaking up is not an option I want to consider, thanks)
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Well the best thing you could do is let her tell you when she is ready, but when she does tell you things, show that you are not being judgemental. Let her know that you really care for her and would it means a lot to you that you get to know her. Don't feel bad if she is not presently open with you. Some people take longer to open up. Tell her about yourself and make conversation; eventially she should open up.
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she probably feels like when she answers questions like that you are going to judge her. maybe she feels like her favorite color/tv show/food/etc. is weird and she doesnt want to share it. maybe tell her more about yourself and make her feel more comfortable. ask her why she wont answer your questions. try opening up to her more and maybe she will get the idea. tell her that you only ask her these questions because you care about her and want to hear about her life. <33
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Long distant relationships are very hard to keep.Its not fair to hold the other person down.You should let yourself meet new people.Your girlfriend seems aloof.she might already moved on to someone else.I would suggest being good friends with each other and date other people in your own area.Your missing out on a lot of good times to be had.You already mentioned the option you don't want to consider,but you really should.Your going to meet and make a lot of new friends of both sexes.Don't pass up this new road in your life for one dusty road in your past.On the other hand,you should talk to each other,just to clear the air first.Ask her if she thinks that things are moving too fast/slow and we should spend some time apart.If she says yes,then she's got her eye on someone else.Don't get mad at her.She,as I said already move on.Wish her all the best,your happy for her and now its your turn to find another love.If this happens,then you know in your heart that this wasn't the right girl for you.Your girl will be the one sitting on that park bench wishing for a nice guy to come along.Wishing the best for you,good luck.
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I am so glad to hear this from a guy because I'm in a similar situation in the least.... but advice wise... she may have trust issues because she's been hurt in the past. It wouldn't matter if it was previous relationship or my someone close. To close yourself off, is just a way she decides to protect or prevent herself from more emotional and psychological pain and suffering that's all. I commend you for not giving up on her and wanting to help her, and not leaving her alone when technically she probably needs you around her the more than ever since you sincerly love her. She just needs to feel secure with you, if you've done something in the past that created great pain within yall relationship, I will say its gonna take a lil more effort on your part to recover lost ground with her. But if you are a real man who can stand next to your woman on her darkest dreary days and is there for her best intentions without expecting something in return other than her opening up to you... she"ll trust you and start opening up. Its just human nature to react at distance with the people you really care about when they let you fall and is not there to offer a hand to pick you up or tend to your wounds...especially when you're in a relationship. Flaky people tends to mess it up for the good guys like yourself. Commit to seeing a bright day "WITH HER".... whole heartedly, and you'll both get what you want and need... together... I hope this helps.
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