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Boys - Sex - So Many Questions!
My Question Is simply that recently, like every time I see my boyfriend, he ends up sexually pleasuring me in some way (not all the way, an empty house doesn't normally present itself as often as we'd like). I keep thinking - why would he do that? he says he likes doing it and that it feels good, but I seriously doubt him in this sense. Sure he keeps doing it, but it something that I don't need and I've never been very bothered about - it just so happens, he's very persistent in doing it and also pretty damn good so I never decline his offer. Sometimes he doesn't even ask for anything back and says he'd prefer I didn't today... but last time he did it, after about quarter of an hour he said that's enough for you and I thought that's fine, but it made me think that he feels in some way pressured to do it. Also, I get embarassed when he comments on the fact I get 'wet' - are boys grossed out by this? I mean its natural and all but I was just wondering if they think it's a bad thing.
That was all a bit muddled, so I'll summarise my questions.
- Is it strange for him to do it so much and not ask for anything back?
- Could he actually be enjoying it as much as he says he does?
- Does 'wetness' gross boys out?
Also, I have Scoliosis. That means my spine is an s shape, although mine is very mild. Basically, I'm not worried about him seeing my spine, but I am worried because it causes one of my hips to be further up than the other and I am curved on one side like a normal woman - but on the other side i am alot straighter, there's almost no curve. It's not too noticeable unless your me, but he has seen it. I'm a bit lopsided in this sense, and not even on both sides. Will this effect a way he'll look at me?
We've been sexually active for a few months now, I was just wondering nowbecause it's been a niggling fear - I've always been a 'good girl' and I waited a year with him before we did anything, but I'm also very self conscious - I was going to ask these questions inevitably at some point.
Thank you VERY MUCH advicenators!
^_^
F
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I seriously doubt that there is some suspicious reason for why he enjoys pleasing you more than he *apparently* enjoys getting his own dose of pleasure. If there is a reason, it's probably something like he feels uncomfortable with his own body, or getting "pleased" in that way. You should probably talk to him about this, the fact that, for whatever reason, he's doing more for you sexually that it seems that you do for him (and, while you're at it, all the other questions you just asked). Having a discussion with him is probably more helpful than any of us guessing what is going through his head.
One thing I found interesting was how you seem to be uncomfortable at the idea of yourself being turned on. Perhaps he feels the same way? It is okay if you don't feel comfortable being sexually active yet. Remember, though, that having sex does not make you a "bad girl." I mean, come on, you've been going out with this guy for over a year, you are being responsible, it really is okay =] Don't feel guilty about getting turned on by your boyfriend. You can still think of yourself as a "good girl", but also remember that you are only human. However, if anything is making you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, it's okay to tell your boyfriend to tone it down a bit.
As for whether your boyfriend is grossed out by your wetness, only he can really answer that. However, if he's noticing it, it's probably more than he's noticing you turning on than him being repulsed in any way. After a few months, he should probably have realized that there's some correlation between you getting wet and you getting pleasured. And no, if he loves you the scoliosis won't matter at all. He may notice it, but I seriously doubt that something as small as that would cause him to look at you differently.
As for whether he gets pleasure turning you on, of course he does! In relationships (the good ones, at least), it makes the person going about the pleasuring feel good, because they care about the other person and enjoy turning him/her on. In terms of how this all relates back to your boyfriend, you can safely trust him when he says he enjoys whatever he's doing, otherwise he would not be doing it as much =]
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1. some people really do enjoy pleasuring the person they are with. there are givers and there are takers.
2. probably not quite as much as he says he does, but if he keeps doing it, hes obviously getting some kind of pleasure out of it
3. it shouldnt. in fact, it should be a turn on
4. hes seen it, hes still with you. he obviously doesnt care, and really, only a horribly type of person would care.
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