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i cant stop
recently me and my good guy friend have stopped talking completly.
its only been 3 days, and it seems like a decade. i cant stop thinking about him. [we used to talk every single day for 4 years] so its normal to miss him right?
he has told me that he wants to be more than friends plenty of times, but i always tell him i want to stay friends. we have kissed before, but thats it. other than that we cuddled a lot. i feel really safe in his arms.
and now that we dont talk i feel like somethings missing.
i dont know what to do. i dont want to be the first one to call or text, bc this ended bc he wanted it to. he called it a "pointless friendship" and i dont really understand why.
since hes liked me the whole time we have known each other do you think he will be the first one to break and call me first? i cant stop thinking about him, and i wonder if hes thinking about me.
any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't know how old you are, but I am assuming younger than me (I am 32). I had a great friend in high school- just the BEST of friends (felt like a twin, almost) - he liked me way differently than I liked him. He made moves, but I just did not feel it.
But, I did love him very much as a friend, and connected with him in a way I have yet to still not to with anyone else. We had a stupid fight, and it was the end of senior year, so we just drifted apart. My pride kept me from contacting him, though I really missed him. We never spoke again. 15 years later, I still think of him from time to time. I ran across him on mySpace, emailed him - but it just was not the same. We spoke on the phone and found we live 10 minutes from eachother. I offered to meet for lunch, and he got weird and remarked he was taught by someone in high school how love can be unkind and that is why he is single today. In that, I took an imaginary bow, wished him all the best- and knew to let him go- that my presence hurt him more than helped him. Had I called and said I was sorry those years ago, listened to his side- his life may be different....we may have stayed friends.
I think the best thing is to text him with "I understand and respect your decision to not hang out anymore, but I would like to know if you would like to talk about this. If we end our friendship, I want to make sure it is for the right reasons. If you would rather just stay apart, don't text me back. I'll take that as a kind 'no thank you'. Regardless, I wish you the best."
And then LEAVE IT ALONE. If he texts back, great. If not, then respect that. Immerse yourself in poetry, music or hanging out with friends who take your mind off it. The more scarce you make yourself, the more he'll start wondering what you are up to.
Or not.
Either way, you will be better off knowing you tried.
Best of luck, kiddo.
:)
Brandi
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since you obviously care a great deal about him, you shouldn't feel bad about calling first, and you should call. it's more personal.
it's obvious that he really cared about you too. he may have thought that you were leading him on by cuddling and kissing and not wanting to go out with him, though. his feelings were probably hurt, he might have felt used. regardless of whether or not this was your intention, that might be how it was recieved.
he probably is thinking about you, but right now he wants to get over you because he might feel like the relationship was one-sided. call him and tell him how you feel, ask him to explain how he feels. talk it out.
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