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confused..
let's just say that my current boyfriend's name is Adrian, and my ex's name is kenny.
I'm sooo sorry, this is long.
information: I'll just start this out that me and my current boyfriend, Adrian, has been together for about 10 months. And i had this ex boyfriend, kenny, like about 2 years ago, he's the first guy i had really strong feelings for. like i "fell" for kenny. and me & kenny had a really harsh break up, because after we broke up, he was avoiding me. Kenny, moved to another city, far away. Me and Adrian has on & off, because of alot of drama, and adrian treats me bad at times, that my friends doesn't like him AT ALL. they kept telling me to break up with him ever since our 4th month.
Okay so,
Around mine and Adrian's 10th month was coming up, kenny messaged me out of nowhere, and told me he was sorry and all that stuff for hurting me and blah. so i messaged him back saying that he was late, but it was okay.. and that it's okay that we're friends. because he said he wanted to start over. and later on, kenny aims me and tells me that the girlfriend's he had after me, which was a year ago, and was only two girls. he said that he didn't really like them, and that when he went out with them, it didn't help him at all, because it made him realize how good of a girlfriend i was before. and i told him that he was REALLY late. and he said "yeah.. i know I'm late", and he told me that he still gotten over me for the past 2 years.. that's why he's been single, and i thought he was just kidding about liking me still. so i said "well you're late now.. now I'm getting married soon... JUST KIDDING" and before i said just kidding, he said "no I'm speaking now, I'm not holding my peace". and when he told me he still liked me.. i felt really happy, to hear that kenny liked me for that long. and two days later, we stopped talking to each other.. so i was wondering if he was just saying those stuff, to see how i react. but why would he say all of those things to me? and he's been acting different towards me now since the time he had confessed to me. i was wondering if he was just joking, or he's acting like this because i have a boyfriend. and ever since he messaged me, or i talked to him, i've been confused. I guess I still like kenny, but not as much as I did before, but at least like him enough to want to see him really badly. And me and adrian, as i said, has been having on & off lately, and i KNOW that i can do better, but i just can't leave him, it's either that i like him alot (but i'm not sure about that, because he treats me bad enough), or it's because i'm too attached to him. because maybe i'm scared that i'm going to regret it if i break up with him. Maybe i lost some feelings for Adrian, because he told me he wanted to marry me, i told him not to buy me a ring, when i used to be so sure i wanted to.. but not anymore. Because when he says he wants us to get married, i think about Kenny. And everytime when adrian and I have on & offs, i cry and all.. but then he tells me he didn't mean to break it off, so i get more angry, and i tell him that i HATE it that he says that, and he doesn't mean it. and adrian says "you want me to mean it?" and i always tell him "no.. but only if you'll stop saying that if you don't mean it." but in my head, i'm angry and i always say that if he means it, then why not end it for good? because i'm tired of hearing it all the time, and hear him say that he doesn't mean it. but yet, i feel like i still want to be with him..
HELP ME PLEASE! i don't know what i'm feeling, and i don't know what to do.. PLEASEEE!
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It seems like the problem here is more that you are unhappy with Adrian than anything to do with Kenny. If Kenny did not exist, you would still be questioning your relationship with Adrian, am I right?
In all relationships there are crap moments. In good relationships, they don't take over, and the good generally outweighs the bad. If Adrian is the kind of guy that will propose after a short period of time, even while you guys are continually breaking up and getting back together, you have a reason to be suspicious right there. If you KNOW that Adrian treats you badly - not that you are disagreeing, but that he generally treats you badly - that alone is a reason to leave. For months your friends have been telling you that Adrian is wrong for you. You should probably listen to them.
Don't wait for an excuse, for a particularly bad breakup. Don't even let Adrian scare you with the "well maybe I will break it off for good this time" - he is playing with your mind, and you know this. If you know that a face-to-face break up is hard, hell, just call him and then refuse to see him anymore.
But seriously. If all this seems too intense for you, think about this: Adrian has tried to propose to you. Either you end up in a break-up make-up cycle until you drive yourself crazy, or you grit your teeth (because you already know it ain't getting any better) and end it all now.
Do what you need to do about Adrian, and put Kenny on the backburner - take one thing at a time. Once everything - the drama, that being treated the wrong way - has blown over, wait a bit, and then see how you feel about Kenny.
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I think that you should break it off with Adrian, not just because of Kenny but just because if you have feelings for someone else and you don't feel the same way it's not fair for Adrian, but there's no way you can talk to him about it, it would really hurt him, sure for the first month you are going to regret it, and then you are going to start to realize you are better off without him being a jerk to you 24/7.
As for Kenny, Whatever happens, happens. (:
good lucckkk.
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