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Rules of Friends/Dating
Is there a 'rule'... like one of those things that you're not supposed to do even though it's never mentioned, against liking the same person, which another friend likes? And liking/dating a friend's ex?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can't much help who you like. People tend to become friends because they have similar tastes in things - naturally, they will often have similar tastes in the opposite sex as well. This, of course, makes things very complicated.
There are no rules in love and war, but there are some things to consider if you want to be a good friend. Here's some general advice to follow, for what it's worth:
If two friends (assume they're girls, just to pick one) both like the same guy, and they both want to date him, there are essentially three ways to resolve the situation.
(1) Both of you try for him at the same time, and he gets to choose. This is usually he messiest method with the greatest potential for disaster. It just doesn't tend to turn out well.
(2) Consider him off-limits to both of you. This is, of course, no fun at all, and can lead to resentment on all sides.
(3) Flip a coin to see who gets to make a play for him first. Sounds silly, but it actually works better than anything else.
Now, if he independently shows interest in one of the two friends, the other should, for the sake of friendship, back off. There's always someone else to date; good friends are much harder to find. Among guys, we have a saying: "Don't put gals before pals."
As far as dating a friend's ex, one should ALWAYS consult the friend first. Not only is it the right thing to do in the spirit of friendship, but your friend may have valuable information about the guy that you'll want to know. Also, make sure that some time has passed between the time your friend broke up and the time you step in - six months is a good rule-of-thumb.
People don't have claims on their exes, but unfortunately, emotions can get heated about such things. When preparing to date a friend's ex, keep in mind one thing: which relationship do you value more? The day may come when you have to make that call.
Needless to say, your friend's CURRENT bf/gf is to be considered strictly off-limits. When you make a play for someone your friend is currently dating, you have effectively nullified the friendship.
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Well, I'd say a good place to start would be asking the friend if they are ok with you dating their ex.
Don't want that person to cause a wedge in your friendship.
ygs-29/f
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