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My question is about caring for a male friend
I am married with two children , I have very deep
feelings for a male friend of mine. He is not
married. He had told me he was attracted to me
and that he wants to be with me. Unfortunately,
I found out that he is moving to North Carolina.
When I found this out I wrote him a letter to let him know my feelings. He never responded to the letter and never contacted me. He recently came back to see his mom for a few weeks, and he is still here. I cannot stop thinking about him. I am unable to think about anything else. I don't know if he has feelings for me or if he was
just saying that stuff to me because he is lonely.
I don't know what to do, the thought of him not
being around anymore is killing me. Please help
me figure out what to do.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, I wouldn't say "unfortunately" he's moving to North Carolina... I would say "thank goodness" he's moving! Obviously, you can't be around him without wanting to be with him. His moving away is the best thing that could happen.
You're married. You've made a commitment to your husband, and you've cemented that commitment further by having two children. You have a duty to your husband and children to follow through on that commitment.
Whether your friend still has feelings for you or not, I think he's doing the right thing by not contacting you. He knows it would just lead to trouble. You should take his lead and put this all behind you. That's the mature and honorable thing to do.
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What about your husband? Think about it. If your husband was attracted to some lady and he wanted to go with her over you. How would you feel? In other words if you go for another guy and see him you would be cheating on your husband. It would hurt not only him but your kids too. He is only visiting his mom. He hasn't replied to your letters and hasn't contacted you at all. Whether you do anything with him, he is going to go back to North Carolina and live his life while your would be ruined. You won't have your husband anymore. Your kids would be heartbroken. You need to get over this man. Maybe you should stay close with your husband. Go out once a week. I know all those old feelings might be gone. But you married your husband and you said your vows. What happened to them? When you marry someone. Its not because they are really cute its because you love them. Love isn't just a feeling its an action. You need to stay with your husband. You know how many families are getting divorces? Its terrible. And the kids have to suffer too. And it is a very big impact on their lives. So I hope you think this through. And I hope everything works out for the best.
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What about your feelings for your husband?
What about your kids? Are you willing to
give them all up for a fling? My advice
would be to work on what you already have.
Its easy to get into a routine when married.
If you are a stay at home mom you may get
bored. Having someone outside of that world
finding you attractive is wonderful! It makes
you feel good. Stirs up all those old feelings
that maybe haven't been "new" for a while.
But when it comes right down to it, it just
isn't worth it. You don't say anywhere that
your husband treats you badly or that you
are extremely unhappy with the life you have.
You have a crush. This other guy doesn't live
close by. He didn't respond to your letter
and he hasn't contacted you while visiting his
mom. I'm going to guess he isn't interested
in breaking up a marriage.
Keep in mind that even one brief affair with
this guy could possibly lead to years of misery.
He will go back to his life and you may just
ruin what you have.
The decision is yours of course, but I think
you should work on your marriage. Maybe get
a sitter go out on a date (make it a regular thing)
maybe get a hotel room for the weekend
and get that romance with the hubby back on
track. :)
Good luck.
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