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can you please help me even though its long?? please
15/f
I have feelings for this senior, at one time I thought he might like me too. (ie..We never talked and he threw a paperball at me..then he picked me for his group and sat right next to me, he had his arm touching me the whole time and everytime he said something to me he looked me in the eyes. And he would nudge me with his shoulder or his leg. And he was teasing me and laughing with me. Note there were two other girls in the group. One sitting on the other side of him and the other in front of him.) But anyways i thought he might have had feelings for me too and you can see why. But then he started to kinda drift off and he wasnt talking to me as much. (He had a girlfriend the whole time, but when this "drifting" began to happen i heard they had broke up) And he would occasionally talk to me. One day he was sitting in the corner alone staring at the floor and i said "what is wrong with you cj?" and he started to mumble under his breath, and i said "yeah i heard nothing you said" and he began to smile and said good you werent supposed to. And i said ok then and began to smile and laugh back. But then i heard that they never did break up. And everyone is telling me i should go for it and ignore the fact that he has a girlfriend. But I couldnt do that. I would hate to think how i would feel if that happened to me. I am not the kind to steal a guy from another girl, whether i like her or not, i just dont feel its right. But i really would like to get to know cj if you know what i mean. But he has college and basketball, and the girlfriend. My friend said that we should write a note between each other talking about how i feel about him and his girlfriend and what she thinks as well (my friend) then stick it in my binder and when he checks it for our class then he will see it and read it (because everyone loves to read notes). (mind you this note would be between me and my friend talking about me and how i have a thing for him). What should I do?? I know he is a senior and everyone says seniors want freshman for their body. But we grew up in a small community and it just isnt like that with most of us. If that is true it is the senior girls and freshman boys.
What should I do about all of this
PS his girlfriend is a cheerleader and im not, i know that most jocks like cheerleaders, but i have this feeling that there is something there between us...And the other day we was sitting at the computer at school and he was looking up car parts and he seemed really concentrated and i was bored and all i could think to say was "whatcha doing?" (he would reply something) and "im sorry but im really bored" (and he replyed its ok)
i think he might be confused but it seems like sometimes he shuts me out...its driving me nuts
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Boys can be JUST as confusing as girls. (haha). From what you told me it sounds like he's really comfortable around you and might be interested, but you'd be better off becoming closer with him first, especially if he's a senior. Try and get him to open up to you by talking. Let him know that you're there if he needs someone to talk to.
The note thing sounds like a good idea. Its subtle and cute. But the downside is that you don't know exactly how he feels, so him reading it might make things awkward, thats why I suggest creating a closer bond first.
Smart choice on not wanting to go after him if he has a girlfriend. That might make him lose his respect for you if you did try and do that.
Good luck :D
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Def ask for his number, or his email. So you can stay in touch ;)
Be like, "hey, can I get your number?" haha.
:)
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Hard as it may be, you probably should not listen to your friend.
Not that he wouldn't like you for being a freshman, or a non-cheerleader. That stuff doesn't matter, really, so don't tell yourself that it does. The main issue is that this guy is taken. You already know this.
As for the flirting - if it was really serious and constant, then mentioning it to him or the girlfriend would be an option. How he was acting towards you, however, was most probably harmless. Yes, it did give off some "I like you vibes". Most probably, though, since he is taken and since he hasn't been constantly pursuing you, it's because he's one of those annoying species of males that just acts like that with all girls, whether he has a real thing for them or not.
Since he is taken, you giving him a note of a conversation between you and your friend about him would likely make everything more complicated; if anything he may be a bit creeped out that you too are discussing him behind his back. Don't do it.
If you must continue to pursue this guy, do it by becoming his friend and waiting until he and his girlfriend break up. That is the only (decent) way to get with him. Honestly, though, do you want to get a guy to like you by going behind a girlfriend's back or by spend all your time waiting like that?
My very best advice in this situation would be to forget about this guy, and do something fun and useful, like you know, baking a yummy cake, going out with friends, painting a picture, anything to distract you from pining after a taken guy.
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I'm not sure of this guy's true intentions. Whether you live in a small community or not, that does not mean that the boys have less hormones and wont do as much things as the people in the larger ones. im not sure.. because if that guy has a girlfriend, why is he flirting with you? and does his girlfriend know about it? maybe you should try to talk to her about it, being aware that shes his girlfriend, and sound like your just concerned that he may be flirting with you and you didn't believe in doing things like that knowing she was his bf. its better that you tell him first before he makes up this lie about it.. like have you ever seen John Tucker Must Die? where the man cheats on 3 women at once? watch that, and also read a book called.... geez i forget the name! i just read it in the library about these freshman girls all "falling in love" with this notorious senior guy who was really nice and caring but only wanted them for sex. they ended up writing in the end of a book called "forever" by judy blume (the school's copy, in the story) about that guy who did all the bad stuff to many innocent girls at that school. yeah i know im getting too far in though but im just saying to be cautious. you can still be friends and stuff now, and only go into a relationship when you think its the right time. keep a level head and dont let him do things that make you feel uncomfortable.. and you'll be fine! :)
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