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sib fighting
im 15 my brother i 13 and my sister is 12 and we fight constantly over really stupid stuff. on weekends we drive 2 1/2 hours to watch my cousin play hockey. my uncle sometimes comes down to watch his son play and when my uncle is here, he drives "the kids" me my bro and sis, to the game. when he drived, its very rare that we fight and argue, we just sit back and chill, my brother up front talking to my uncle and my sis and i talking. but now my uncle hasnt been out here and my mom and grandma have been takking us; omg we fight like crazy " turn your music down" "shut up your so annoying" "your fat" "your flat" "your short" the entire weekend. i honestly act way older than 15 and obviously because my brother is a boy, he acts younger than 13 more like 9 and aacts so dumb and it pisses me off and thats why i get mad and freak out in the ccar. then most times, my sister will join him, now shes 12 and can act 12 most of the time but other times she will be just as bad as my brother, ive learned to not flip out so much when its just my brother but when my sister joins in, i csnt take it and i flip out. we all have attitudes and my brother has a really bad temper. now my mom is fed up with the constant fighting and says we cant go to any more games because shes embarassed, which i totally understand. but i still wanna go. i try to explain why i flip out to her but she just gets mad saying i start it. the other day i tried to talk to my brother and sister and told them to not fight in the car and stuff but they were in their "little kid mood" and just made really stupid jokes. what can i do to get this to stop because i hate it (my sister and i can get along really well at times but my brother and i dont get along at all, normally i dont talk to him unless we ar fighting,) i know fighting is normal, ive gotten the speeches on this but i need this to stop so we can go to the next game but i just want it to stop at home too. im so sick of it
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
In every family which has got more than one child, there will always be an element of sibling rivalry. Some families have bad cases of sibling rivarly, some don't. Considering that you're only figthing over small things, then it isn't that bad.
There is a cause for these outbursts happening and (don't take it personnally) it is usually because the younger siblings copy the older one, so if the older one has outbursts, they will follow because they clasify them as a role model to follow. So your brother follows your example and your sister follows him. You see where I'm coming from. Now i know that you've stopped but in the next paragraph, there is something else which i'd like you to consider.
Now, there are two sisters and one brother. You've got your sister to talk to and play with her whilst your brother doesn't. He doesn't have any brothers to play and to see the two of you having fun together could be making him angry and resentful of this fact.
Now i'm not saying that it's anyone's fault here (because it's not), but if you went out to a nearby park and had fun with each other (you, your sister and your brother), i'm sure that you'll get a positive response from him. Send out positive signal, you tend to get a positive response. If you're playing a game of...I don't know...hide and seek or 'It' for example, include your brother as well because you begin to bond as a family and your fighting should reduce.
BUT, remember that it will only work if you put effort into it.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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yea...i have a brother and sister too...they may be the same age as me...but i can totally relate! the best thing to do, is be the mature one. bring something to occupy yourself...ike an ipod, ds game, anything. and when they start acting up, just "stay mature" and ignore them. After a while of ignoring them, and when you feel calm, and like you dont have to explode, then "maturely" ask your sister and brother if they would like to play a game with you or make friendly conversation. If they decline, and continue to act up, then tell them that when the have calmed down, you would be happy to play a game with them. Also, if they for example: (your sister lets call her G and your brother B)say G is using colored pencils, and B wants to use the one she is using. You can calmly try to help out the situation. Tell B that he needs to wait his turn, but ask G if she could PLEASE hurry up with it, and give it to B when she is done. By being polite and calm, it will not only teach your younger siblings that they can look up to you, but also it will show how mature you can be (to your mom and family.) Just make sure to stay out of the situation, and ALWAYS STAY CALM. :-] this will also allow you to develope a closer relationship with your brother. And also, they are little, so besides yelling at them, show them some love. Hug them once in a while, and like in the situation with B and G, if G gives the colored pencil to B and is nice a bout it, show her that you liked how she handled the situation. And if B waits his turn and is polite about it, show him that he handled it good too. maybe just to be prepared, bring a little bag of candy with you, with candy you all enjoy, and when they do something good, say, "since you guys were calm and polite, then i will share my candy with you." and say if G is good but B is bad, just tell B that he needs to be more polite next time, and that you would share your candy with him, but he needs to say sorry to G. It will start to come naturally to you.
GoOd LuCk!!!
ps
whatever you do, just stay patient and calm, it will be hard, but TRUST ME...i KNOW that you can do it!!! :-] let me know how it all works out for you!
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