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`How do I get closure from a long term relationship?
My ex and I have/had a long distance relationship for 3yrs.and I know in my heart that this is going absolutely nowhere. The problem is this.. I have been his lover, friend, comfort, supporter and every thing else that he's needed through and since his divorce. I was his "survial, his life preserver" so to speak. And even though he still says that he "regrets" not stealing me away for these past yrs., he still backs off. This happens EVERY TIME we get close. This is one of those times and I'm so fed up that I need and will love me, now!! I really need closure to end this, and it will be devastating to me (as his divorce was to him). He's treating now as if I mean absolutely nothing. I tell you the truth when I say that I've been nothing but good to this man!!! Why can't he just tell me the truth? I deserve it! But, when I ask him,he"s always "busy" or he'll tell when "we see other."(which isn't often since he lives a one state over) Why is he acting this way. I WANT to let go but I cannot do this without getting the answers I need. I derserve this! If I ignore him, that's not closure and I'll feel as though he's getting away with treating me this badly. I'm so confused right now and I appreciate your help!! Thank u!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
in my opinion, just tell him that the whole long distance thing isnt working so dandy. which isnt exactly a lie, now is it?
tell him you would rather see someone you can see every DAY!
oorr...one of you could move to eachother's state or house...;) which i doubt is going to happen. so yeah.
take care and i hope it works for the better! :)
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We don't get what we 'deserve' in love darling.
Think about: there are millions of children in the world who deserve clean drinking water, but don't get it.
There are people in this world as well, murders, rapists, violent hateful people, who are loved, not because they deserve it, but because someone gives them love anyway.
You've given him all you have. All your support, all your love, all your patience and understanding. And he has given you, agnst, excuses, his burdens to bare, and now, insensitivity and apathy.
My advice to you is to sit down and write down the answers you think you deserve. NOT the answers that will make him get back togeather with you, but what you think his explinations could possibly be for his behavoir.
That is the only closure you are likely to get AND it might teach you the most valuable lesson you can learn from all this: NOTHING HE SAYS COULD MAKE THIS BETTER.
Closure isn't something you get from another person. It's something you make for yourself. Stop looking to him for the answers, he doesn't have any that will help you with your pain. You are the only one with the answers, and the only one who can stop him from 'getting away with' his treatment of you.
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