|
what is my next step?
Long story but trying to put in a short story
I’ve been in love with my friend for nearly 8 years. She is my best friend and I told her how I felt 3 years ago. She didn’t say anything but shock. I ask her "why do you seem ok with my feelings toward you?” she didn’t reply back at the note. Last year it was still bugging me why she seem ok with it. I ask her in a chat room when she was online. She was fine with it but doesn’t feel the same way. She is unsure of her sexuality.
I try to get over her as my sisters friend was hooking me up with her brother. I met him but not my type. I told her about it and she was jealous. she said in the chat room "I don’t know if I should be happy for you or pissed" "I guess time will tell for the both of us"
after she said that I ask her what was her deal. She said she was jealous of my last two boyfriends and didn’t like the fact someone making someone hook with someone they don’t know. I wrote her a note and gave it to her and ask her "do you like me more than a friend?” she didn’t reply back for 3 weeks. I went up to her face to face (took me a while to do it) and ask her she didn’t say anything till I ask the third time. She shook her head no. and I said? "That’s all I want to know?"
I don’t know if she likes me or not. I mean when I met her she began to lean on me, lean her head on my shoulder when we sat together at the movies or whatever and holding my arm too. Now she hardly does it anymore right after I ask her that question "do u like me more than a friend?" she had a lot of crushes on some boys in high school
so I don’t think she will like me back.
We still hang out and have a good time but I still have feelings for her. I never thought she would like me back but I never thought she will be jealous. She said she was being over protective but in the email before the talk she said she was jealous!!??
What should I do?
I think I should wait for her to step up because I told her 3 times about my feelings to her. I didn’t mean to but she took so long to explain. I had to step up.
I feel lost and confused and I want to get over her.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
first off, you need to stop asking her why shes ok with it, and if she likes you as more than a friend... i mean really, how many rejections do you need? shes ok with it because she still wants to be friends, its not uncommon for someone to be ok with a friend liking them if they dont like them back. i have a friend ive liked for about... 2 years now, though she is a girl, so its not exactly the same situation, but she is bi, so maybe that brings it a bit closer... anyways, ive told her, she told me she didnt like me back, and that was it, were still friends, and we joke about it pretty often. she even occasionally asks me if i still like her, and i detected a bit of jealousy when i told her i asked out someone else.
what it comes down to is this. everyone wants to be wanted, you liking her makes her feel more special, and she doesnt really want that to end, even though she doesnt like you back in that way.
]
That is the crux of your problem isn't it:
You want to get over her.
She will do ANYTHING to keep that from happening.
She likes you just enough to try and sabotage you liking anyone else. She likes that you like her. She likes the attention, and the adoration. She likes the drama.
All those things might be lovely for her, but they are toxic for you.
She is jealous, and she behaving in a mean, selfish, vicious little way.
That isn't really 'liking' you at all. That is liking herself and what you do for her and how good you make her feel.
That isn’t enough for you, and it never will be.
Decide in your own mind that she isn't interested, (because she isn't interested in taking this further with you, she is only interested in keeping you interested) and then ignore all her hints, all her arguments and all her small flirting kindnesses.
When you do find someone else you like, be prepared that she will up the ante and start feeling 'confused' about her sexuality again. Ignore it. You deserve better then being jerked around by her again. You need better. Leave her and her petty games behind you. If you can’t do that and maintain the friendship, then don’t maintain the friendship.
A true friend wouldn’t sabotage, lie or manipulate you anyways.
]
More Questions: |