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Thinking about College
15/f - freshman.
Honestly, I'm scared of high school and college. Right now, I attend 9th grade at a junior high. I'm excited for the 'new experiences' in high school that I really didn't get a chance to accomplish in junior high. There's a lot of pressure on me to be a doctor, nevertheless, I have a cousin who is 22 and received a scholarship for a state college, and graduated with straight A's. Everyone in my family expects me to grow up and be like her. And I DO want to be like her. She's extremely smart, pretty, the like. However, sometimes I get nonchalant, and just plain lazy, and don't do my homework until later that night [I usually do it after I come home from school]. I'll do about as much as I feel like, and leave the rest for study hall [which is usually just a science worksheet].
I want to find a major that would be good and beneficial for me.
I'm:
- great with computers, great with figuring out how to set up 'gadgets'.
- fluent in Spanish
- fluent in Russian
- fluent in English [of course].
- a [very] driven tennis player
- a great listener
- good at Math
Yeah, kind of random, I know. I have this minor fear of just ending up in a community college, with only a high school graduation to my name. But I want MORE. I want to make a difference in what I do. I want my family to be proud of me and say "wow, she's really come a long way". I'm terrified of by the time SAT's come around, because I don't do so well on test taking days. I told myself that I'll do better Second Semester. I've been doing extremely well in Math, but Science is my worst subject as of now. The funny part is, is that I do better in Spanish than I do in English! I had a 83% in English, and a 98% in Spanish, last semester.
This was kind of a huge combination of fear/anxiety/and questions rolled into one. A pep talk would be great.. I want to be focused more on the present than the future. I talked with my school counselor, and he told me to choose what I would want to do, because it's my life, and only I can control it. I'm comprehending that part, but how do I stop worrying so much about the future, and start focusing on the present?
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Most people change majors 1-3 times in the first two years of college.
You dont need to pick a major. Pick an area of interest, take a class in it, and take the rest of your hours in basics like english and government and whatever college math. If you don't like that class, it can be an elective credit for something else.
I tried electrical engineering, computer science, and a few others before settling on psychology (I know, far afield)
I learned that I hate engineering and while I enjoy programming I couldnt sit in a cubicle all day writing computer code as a job. I'm heading more towards teacher and eventually psychiatrist and counselor.
High school is just something to get through. Keep your grades high, and enjoy it as much as possible. College you dont have to know exactly what you want to do as you go in. Don't set doctor for yourself unless you're sure its what YOU want to do every day as a career.
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OK, here's your pep talk:
Take a deep breath, let it out. You sound like an intelligent person, very articulate. You are young, and you know it. It's very hard to know what you want in 9th grade. It sounds to me like language is your strong point; if science isn't doing it for you, then you're probably going to have to "force" yourself if you want to be a doctor.
But is that what you want, or what others want for you? That's hard. No getting around it. I think you need to have a talk with your family about your goals, whatever they may be. I've re-read your letter several times, I can't imagine that anyone could be less than proud of you. Just the fact that you have these worries confirm the fact that you're on the right track. Most people your age aren't even thinking about the future.
Everyone gets "lazy", especially people who feel pressure to perform at their best at all times. Is it really laziness, or are you just giving yourself a well-deserved beak? I have a feeling that you just need to blow off some steam once in a while.
I don't want to put any more pressure on you. But the decisions you make now are important. I think you're intelligent enough to listen to other peoples input, but you KNOW that you're responsible for your own decisions. Follow your heart, wherever that leads you. Good Luck.
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The way you describe yourself leads me to believe that you will be able to do almost anything, just set short term goals if you want to stop worrying about the future, but make sure you keep some long term goals as well.
Other than that i would say just chill, and don't worry about it.
You arent even in highschool yet, but i can guarantee you that you will go somewhere other than a community college.
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