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my bf and i last night talked about what we daydream and stuff not exactly text sex/sex put like him taking off my shirt and where i would touch his back and chest and stuff like that. we both really liked it and got turned on and thought it was sexy but the thing is we are really good Christians and we are wondering if it was wrong that we did that. can anyone tell me what they consider this? its not sex but is it 'unholy' i think it might have been kinda bad but i still really liked it. what should i do?? thanks so much :]
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Your carnal (fleshly) side will, of course, enjoy these things. It's normal to have gotten turned on by them, though. The fact that you are even questioning whether it was right or not should tell you that your spiritual side is trying to intervene. Any amount of impurity is wrong and can easily lead to other things. If you are thinking it, it will make things more likey to happen. Also, a sin can be a sin, even in your mind. Thoughts like this are lusty and dangerous. Why play with fire, when you can remain entirely pure and make resisting the temptaion easier. Just tell your boyfriend that you care about him and are attracted to him, but that you are not comfortable discussing those things because of the temptation it causes. If he is as good of a Christian as you say, then he should understand and respect that decision. If you have any more questions, let me know....I have just gone through a very similar situation myself, I know it can be very tough.
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well to me i don't think you did anything wrong because you technically were just like rubbing his back ...
so i don't think so but thats really up to your opinion
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Hmm.
See, this one is very open to interpretation. It depends not upon God and his desires, but on whom you ask and their personal opinion.
If you are who I think you are (a question asked previously) my answer for that somewhat applies here.
You could get different answers from two priests, from your parents, from strangers on the street Christian or not.
How best to present this too you...
I'll use my entire family as an example. I come from Roman Catholicism. Devout Roman Catholicism. Grandparents kneel beside bed and pray every night kind.
Everyone in my family would disapprove of phone sex. But if you look deeper than that, everyone in my family would disapprove of it even between married couples. The objection to it is more base than "outside marriage". They consider it completely indecent for anyone.
This would be a common Christian reaction. These people are too uptight to think that its EVER ok.
My viewpoint, as you might have guessed, is that theres nothing at all wrong with what you did.
First off, from your descriptions, I know that it wasnt overly detailed, not even truly what I would consider phone sex. Even had it been, words are not actions. There is nothing wrong with nonphysical intimacy, its far cry from sex outside of marriage.
Morally speaking, I dont think you can say theres anything wrong with what transpired. I mean, you were talking about what amounts to erotic massage.
If you were to actually have DONE the things you were talking about, I would say that there was nothing wrong with that either. Simply put, if all you were doing was touching each other, I dont think that theres anything wrong with that.
The human body is not meant to be feared. The only reason I would say you shouldnt be naked and touching is because that way lies alot of temptation. Thats why things like this are considered wrong.
To give you a current example, some countries have laws that a woman must be covered at all times. The reason for this is that a woman must "take steps so that no man might see her naked flesh and lose control of himself and sin"
While I dont agree with laws like that, it shows an underscored fear, because the enticement of sex is great, and sometimes resistance and self control falters.
What should you do? My answer is the same as before. What you are comfortable with. Talk to your boy. Ask him what he thinks about it.
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thedarkestside is definitely on the money with this one. the other answers are a bit misguided. if you know something is a sin, you shouldn't keep doing it and just plan to repent for it. that's not what God is looking for. you've gotta control the temptation the best you can and trust God to give you the strength. its definitely easier said than done, but i think in the end, you'll see its worth it
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If you are getting tempted by these daydreams, then yes, it technically is a sin. God even tells us that if a person looks at another human being and has sexual desire or lust, that alone is a sin. We were made to be attracted to the opposite sex however, and it is hard not to sin when it comes to that sort of thing. As long as you know though that what you're doing could be wrong, that's a good step in controlling temptation. Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy at all : He knew we would commit sins like these, which is one reason why he forgives us. Good luck to you in whatever choice you decide to make! Dave
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Technically, its not truly sinful because you haven't really "done" anything. So basically, you can do all you want as long as it doesn't get too serious you know. Just try to avoid getting too into it cause, before you know it, you'll get too far. But its simply a healthy thing that you two show affection for each other.
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in the christian church it's a sin to masturbate and i would call what you guys did last night masturbation but it's fun soo who cares! if you like it keep doing it! and remember it's always easier to ask for forgivness!
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