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Ex-bf is threatening me..
I don't know what else to do, this might be long but I really need help.
I'm 18/f and my bf recently broke up with me since I decided to respect my religion and not "do" things with him when he comes to visit my country next. (We both have diff. religions). So when he was breaking up (he did it online, he lives in another country, he studies there), he threatened me with things like "i will f*** you up so bad", "you will SO regret this", "i will show you what it means to get me angry", "you SO will suffer" and so on. And he will do those things when he visits his family (his family lives where I live..). He knows which uni I go to, and knows where my house is. He beat up his ex-gf before and told me the story as a "warning" not to piss him off.. I'm terrified, I think he plans on physically hurting me. There's about 13 more days till he gets here.. I've already planned on talking to my uni counselor about this but I need help from people around my age. I'm not strong to cope with this, I haven't slept for days getting nightmares of him coming after me, I've considered calling the airport and notifying them not to let him in the country but if I do that, I'd just make a fool out of myself. Please please please, I'm really panicking =*(
Thanks for your time, I appreciate it greatly.
=*(
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well hun we can give you advice, but we can't protect you, talk to your parents, friends and Police, threats are taken very seriously especially if he has a history of abusing women. Dont think that talkign to the Police is the chicklen way out. Its the smart way out. Dont be panicking either, because thats what he may be tryng to do is scare you.
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i know that many people have told you this already but you can not hear it to much in this situation!tell people!tell your parents ,tell your friends,guy friends as well if you have any,try being around other people the whole time,if the neigbours know it its even better so that if he comes over to your place they will know its not just a couple-fight but something serious!Tell the uni-councelor!and if you have a pepperspray its even better...if you dont i think a hairspray(thy got mini bottles as well to fit in your purce)that will do the job as well...i wouldnt suggest any other kind of weappon,because if you arent really good at using it he can take it and use it against you...also as soon as you see him,call someone...just for safety...i mean even if you see him just across the street ,talking to someone else,call a friend,or anyone else and tell them where you are and keep talking to them on the phone until you are away from him...that will scare him off a bit cause when the other one is on the line he might b afraid that he will b discovered very easy..and even if that doesnt scare him off the person on the other line can inform the police imidiatly of where you r and what is going on,and he will b able to come for help aswell...dont worry,be calm,and take as many procautions as you can!dont b afraid you will make a fool out of your self!these things have to b taken serious no matter what!
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Wow I never had this happen to me before but you need to get help and fast. Threats can be very dangerous and If he is abusive then call the police and tell them about what is going on. You probably don't want to get hurt so get help from the police. I hope everything works out.
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Tell friends family anyone who can help. Dot meet up with him or if you have to do it with some other people whiter friends or family it dosent matter.
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Tell friends. Tell family. Notify the people in your life. Do not speak to him face to face. Do not let yourself end up alone with him. Tell him that if he comes anywhere near you you will call the police. Do that tonight.
If he calls and says hes coming over, call friends and have them come over as witnesses and protection. If he shows up, get on the other side of the locked door, tell him that if he doesnt leave you will call the police and that you fear for your safety, and if he doesnt leave within 15 seconds after you demanding he leave, call the cops.
But yeah, first two steps are telling him he has to stay the fuck away from you, and telling your friends and any neighbors you trust about it, as well as your parents. People need to know when hes going to be around and when they should get worried if they dont hear from you.
I dont know him or the risk he presents, but there are other things you can also do. Example, once he arrives pick someone (your parents are a great idea) who you check in with every few hours. Someone who is in a position to help you or raise an alert if you dont check in with them.
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You really need to tell someone about this. A restraining order might be a good thing but then again, and not to freak you out, he may ignore it.
If he's really freaking you out you shouldn't worry about if you'd look like a fool. Threats should be taken seriously, so I think you should definatly cal the police if you are seriously worried he will harm you. Try not to be alone, especially when he is in your country.
Just remember your safety if important, even if you look like a 'fool' trying to protect yourself!
Hope I helped!
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you need to tell as many people about this as you can and try not to be alone. If you have a cell phone try to keep it with you all the time. And if your that freaked out about it tell the police. Dont worry :)
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I'm not sure where you live or whatnot, but can't you get a restraining order? Or maybe find a friend to stay with while he's in the same area as you?
If he does come to your house, you don't have to answer the door and if he calls you, you don't have to answer your phone. If he tries to do anything, I'd call the police.
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Tell someone about this. Speak to counselors, even your parents if you have to. If somebody is threatening to hurt you, its serious. Don't be afraid to do anything you need to do to stay safe. If it means contacting police or other law enforcement then do it. If you still have any conversations or e-mails saved, or will talk again and he brings it up, save it. You don't need to panic about this, but just be prepared. He could be just bluffing to make you feel bad, and to make him feel better about himself.
Actually, I really respect you for sticking to your religion. For that, you really won't suffer, no matter what he or anyone else says to you. You did the right thing. Tell other adults, and your close friends if you trust them with this. If you still don't feel safe, then make sure you can find away to be with your family, friends, or law enforcement with you when he arrives. Please, don't panic and don't be afraid to defend yourself. I hope that helped and good luck.
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