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My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating on him....
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. Things were very well in the beginning of course, until up to 6 months ago. He's been acting really mean to me and always accusing me of cheating on him.
My boyfriend and I took some time apart in the month of November due to us constantly going at each other’s throats. I actually thought I was going to be alone for thanksgiving, since my family was not going to be in town. A good friend of mine invited me over to his family house for thanksgiving but I ended up canceling because my boyfriend called and asked if I would go spend time with him and his family. It was short notice but of course I'm going to drop everything to be with him, he's my man. Later that night, I guess my BF checked my phone because he started yelling at me about having a backup plan for thanksgiving. He read the text message I sent my friend thanking him for the invite but that I was going to cancel. I've known this friend for a long time and there's never been anything between us, so I saw nothing wrong with the picture.
Anyway, since thanksgiving things have not seem to change. Just a week ago I texted my BF in the morning asking if he was awake yet (my exact words: Are you awake baby?). Well I would guess that the text message never went through because the following day he ended receiving the text. He received it when I was at the house with him. And oh boy did he go off on me. He was constantly asking me whom I was supposed to be sending that text to?
Now the latest thing is Christmas day. I guess he was trying to test me, he called my phone restricted and said nothing to me. I answered it (I had no idea it was him) and said hello about 4 times until I went to hang the phone up, but right when I hung the phone up, you could hear a mans voice say hello. I figured if it was important they would call back. Well he yelled at me today for it. He told me that it was him that called my phone, and that it was so ironic that I would hang the phone up as soon as I heard a man's voice. He said that if I were not cheating on him, I would have spoke to that person.
I don't understand why he's playing these games with me, I've never cheated on him and I would never dream of cheating on him. I do everything for this man, and I love him unconditionally. Please I need some advice; I don't know what to do. I really don't want our relationship to end, but all this fighting that's going on is hurting me emotionally and physically; my body can't take this stress anymore. Please, fill me in with your thoughts.
Thank You =)
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Dump him.
You can't handle this and you shouldn't have to handle this. He is irrational, cruel, distrustful and is sounds like you might be fearing an edge of physical violence to his outbursts.
The best thing you can do is remove yourself from this situation. It sends him a clear message that his behavoir is not acceptable and it keeps you safe.
What you are describing are not 'lover's quarells' or 'spats' or even 'fights', they are him trying to control you with fear and guilt. Each time you are not afriad or guilty, he finds a way to step it up a notch and renew his threats. When a partner becomes violent and paranoid, there isn't a 'relationship' to save. The only thing you are continuing if you remain with him is his abuse and control of you.
You need to take a deep breath, break up, and mourn a relationship that likely ended back in November. Anything else is just dragging out your misery.
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Well, I think this is wrong and he needs to understand your not cheating on him . But he needs to trust you, there is nothing you can do. It sounds like this can continue forever. I know you dont want it to end, but he needs to calm down. If this doesnt stop soon I would leave him. I think its better to be single, than in a relationship and constantly stressed out and feeling helpless about the situation. There really isnt anything you can do, you cant MAKE him trust you. I know it sucks, but if your man doesnt come around soon, leave him. Who knows, maybe if you dump him...maybe in a couple months he will have his head on straight and will not accuse you of cheating. good luck with everything
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There is obviously an issue with trust here. I can already tell that your boyfriend is the envious type. You need to sit down and have a talk with him like grown people and tell him to LISTEN. Explain that you would never ever cheat on him and tell him that you truly care about him. Tell him what you are telling us. If he doesn't listen, he's not worth your time and trust me when I say this, but you need to find a boyfriend who trusts you and is able to confide in you, just as you can confide in him.
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I have always heard that if your significant other is accusing you of cheating then they are actually the ones cheating. Do you think he may be doing something behind your back and is feeling guilty about it so he is testing your feelings on your relationship? just a thought..
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