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Losing friends and feeling unloved
(Sorry, this is long) Well I'm going through a tough time right now. I feel like I've lost MANY friends that I've once loved. It seems like they've left me and they don't even care about me anymore. I only have like a lil true friends, and the one that was probably the truest has left me and I miss her. I dunno what happened, how, and why. It's too much to explain, but I can't help but to feel depressed a lot. So the main point is that I've lost like a lot of friends and even though I have some true friends, I can't stand them sometimes. My one friend that was like my bestest friend ever has moved on, and I just don't get why. Some of my friends I don't get to see that much anymore, and I don't hang out with people like I used to last year. Some of my friends have stopped calling or don't call as much as they used to. I know this is lame and overrated, and shouldn't matter, but I'm sure that last year, I would've been very high in some of my friends' top friends on Myspace. And they would've been high on mine too. Now, I'm like VERY low on there's. There are even people who are BARELY their friends that are higher than me! They barely even know eachother when I've known them longer and know a whole bunch about them. I've always been there for them. All my friends I have come to love are now the people I hate the most. And the people who have stolen my friends, I become jealous of them and hate them. One moment I can think they are kewl and nice, but the next, I just hate them. The first semester of my school has ended and I've been living my life as a lie for the whole semester. I hate being two-faced, but I think it's the only way I can survive. Everything has changed. I feel so unloved. This other person (I guess you can say she's kinda my friend), but our b-days were on the same day. She got like a ton of comments on Myspace (maybe even more and maybe including emails) with people saying Happy B-day and stuff. I didn't get much though. Not many people told me Happy B-day. :'[ Even the people who I expected to leave me comments didn't. Barely anyone noticed or cared. That's how it seems. Last Christmas (when I had awesome friends), I got Christmas + B-day presents. This year I didn't really get anything. Some people who I was growing more distant with got me presents last year. (I was surprised that one certain person got me a present(s). I just felt so awesome and loved when that happened, and when I got the presents I did.) Now they didn't and they changed even more. I really miss them. I miss the old friendships I had with everyone. All the friends I was friends first at the beginning of the year have pretty much changed and now I'm not really friends with them anymore. I feel very unloved. It feels like most of my friends don't even care about me anymore. I know what some of you might say. I can't get ove the past. I can't forget them. I also can't "dump" my backstabbing friends cause I still care about them and miss them. Even though I sorta hated them, I still was there for them when they were sad and stuff. I don't think I have the guts to confront them either. I feel like even if they did know that I felt like this, all they would do is say sorry and move on. I've been friends with these people FIRST and then they forget about me and love their "other" friends that they haven't known for a long time. I'm not sure if they even remember the good old days. They don't really talk to me anymore, when last year they talked to me A LOT. I feel like I have to impress them and stuff. My friends who have moved on have now changed, like I don't even recognize them anymore. They've changed who they are, to impress their friends. I hate seeing my friends hang out with these fake people. I have everything to offer, while others can only offer a lil. Please don't hate me for saying this, but my friend who was more interested in the girly/preppy-ish styles, was still friends with me, even though I was more interested in the punk/emo-ish styles. That was last year though. All her friends are more like girly girls and preps now. I'm not being stereotypical to all preps, but the ones who are friends with my "ex friend" are annoying. It's not fair. (yes, I know, not everything is fair.) I thought things were going great. Until after summer everyone seemed to change. These certain people that I was thinking about when I was typing this were like my BFFL EVER. Now we're just good aquaintances or something. Last year we talked about how we wanted to be in a lot of classes together and how excited we were to be in a lot of classes together. Now I'm in EVERY class with one of my friends, but she doesn't care. How could I be at the "top" but then be at the "bottom" so quickly? I'm so depressed. I feel so useless and I feel like I wanna die. I hope you guys understand what I'm talking about. I hope I'm not forgetting anything either, and that I said everything I wanted. Any advice? =\
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you're feeling depressed you should talk to someone you trust, like a counselor or parent, or try Samaritans.org.
I don't know you, so I can't say why your friends are becoming distant. I can only speculate. Are they in relationships? It's not uncommon as you grow older that your tastes in things change, and you decide to explore new interests, which might mean making new friends, and becoming distant from other friends. Also, how have you changed?
You don't rank friends, that's horrible. Who wants to be ranked?
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I went through/am going through the same kinda thing right now. Im a senior in highschool and just this year my bestfriend since 6th grade,we dont talk anymore. due to a letter I wrote her about how I felt, but it easily could have been fixed. She said I have changed and whatnot. Its true people change and theres nothing you can do. I have done everything I can think of but theres nothing I CAN do. Im hoping she'll come around and hopefully before its too late. Im trying to be the good person by praying for her and stuff and supporting her still, but its hard everyday. I think about it and cry. I know exactly where you are coming from, there are days when I think why am I still here, Whats the purpose of me suffering everyday. But whatever doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger. I know next semester Im going to keep to myself and really focus on school work. How old are you? Get a job to take things off of your mind, and if you are lucky enough you can have one like I do wiht amazing people. Hope I helped in some sort of way =/
♥BLAiR
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I went through the same problem you are going through right now. My friend since kindergarden, well, we made a pinky promise, a swear, that we would never seperate, best friends forever, but she was striving to be popular and back stabbed me. I cried for weeks, so i know how you feel. I hated that she changed, but it's a fact of life, people change and move on. However, I wouldn't give up on them just yet, try to put yourself out there. Invite them to go places with you, maybe once in a while have a serious talk with them. I know that you think it won't go that far, but just try telling them how you feel. If you don't want to lose them as friends, don't lose yourself. Just because they changed, hardly recognizable, don't follow their lead. Hopefully they will see what a great friend you are, but if you don't talk to them and ask them why they are ditching you and ignoring you and being so different, what can you do? You need a reason, you need to either give them their space for a while and see what happens, or burst their personal bubbles and make them listen to you. But don't forget about your other friends, being so focused on these friendships you want back can hurt your friendships with the other people, and I'm sure you don't want to lose them either. Try to make some of yor friendships stronger, be kind and thoughtful, and if you want to gain your "old bff's" back, just be yourself. If they don't accept you, and you don't think its fair, just let them come to you. Friendships that end really never started in the first place, but I wouldn't give up on them yet. I hope it works out between all of you and that my advice helps. I truly know how it feels, and it hurts.
Good luck
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