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my boyfriend and I have been fighting alot lately
So my boyfriend and I have been fighting alot lately and it seems like we will be doing fine and then one night he'll say hes going out to the bars with his friends and ill suddenly feel upset. He doesn't understand that that bothers me but it does. I'm 19 and he is 23 and I hate that he can get into the bars and i cant. I dont understand why his friends cant have a party at their place that way i wont be left out :/ Am I overreacting? Is it silly that that bothers me? Because anytime I sound upset that hes going he'll say things like "so are you made that I want to go out with my friends? i havent been out with them in a month" and then Ill be like "well i dont care" when I really do! and "do what you want"
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im going to be honest, i knew someone who would always give their gf a hard time about seeing her friends. he got mad at her all the time and it made her feel terrible! she just wanted to chill with her friends, she wasnt cheating or anything like that. you have to just let him see his friends. i mean it will probably only be a few times a month. you need to accept it and not fight about it. see your friends on the days he sees his. its actually healthy to have apart time and time with friends
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First, and foremost, thats clingy.
Being bluntly honest, he wants to go out with his friends. He needs guy time. Alone time. Most guys are like this, I know I am.
Its nothing personal, but even with your woman, sometimes you need time away from her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I'm very much a proponent of the saying "How can I miss you if you're always here"
It sucks to be dis included because of age, but the truth is that sometimes hes going to want to go out without you regardless.
This is part of an adult relationship. Especially, if hes not going out even weekly. If this is "I havent been out with them in a month" you need to ask him if he can tell you in advance when hes going somewhere so you can make plans as well, keep yourself occupied. You shouldnt be waiting for him neccesarily either.
Thats an equal, adult relationship. Even after marriage, my father would go out with the guys one or two weekends a month (not the whole weekend, but like friday night, maybe saturday night). Its part of normal healthy male activity.
You need to let go a little bit. You need to keep yourself occupied. Thats another part of being in an adult relationship. We all have issues sometimes that we know arent necessarily reasonable. We have to deal with those, and suppress things sometimes when we arent being fair. From what you've told me, being mad at him is not being fair to him.
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Well, you have to realize he is entitled to his own personal space and time spent with his friends.
I know you feel left out, but you can't honestly expect him to give up his 'guy time' because you can't go to a bar.
I know it sucks, but that's just how it goes sometimes.
ygs-29/f
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