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abuse/sorry this is long :/
I noticed you had answered a question on abuse and I wanted to ask one of my own. I've been dating my boyfriend for one year and almost a month now. Hes 17 & I'm 15. We had a really wonderful relationship for the first 3-4 months of our relationship. Then we began to argue about the dumbest stuff and were constantly at eachothers throats. We both drink and we would constantly get into horrible yelling fights when we got drunk. One night, he was drunk and while I was saying goodbye to him he began to hit me. I can't remember exactly why it started but I remember everything he did to me and I know I hit him back. It was terrible. Eventually he left and the next morning for some stupid reason - I forgave him. He promised it would never happen again. But sure enough, abou 3-5 weeks later ... it happened again. Except this time I believe it was worse. This time, I told him this was the end. And again, I gave him another chance. This past weekend, while me/him/a bunch of my friends were hiding out in my friends basement because we had been drinking and his dad came home, he started to do little things like he was trying to control me. He kept pulling me up even though I wanted to sit and attempted to bend back my finger because I wasn't listening to him. That just set me off. I began crying and I told my two close girlfriends about everything and they told me the truth-I shouldn't be with him. He talked to my guy firends about it and got really angry. Everything was a complete mess. Well of course, I'm still with him. I know hes hit me/choked me/punched me and yet I'm still with him. He told my guyfriends about what he did, but he lied. He said all he did was punch me the first time, which is complete bs. Hes controlling, he has a terrible temper and hes always out ot try and make himself look perfect. But I just can't get enough courage to tell him I cant take it anymore. To make matters worse, I've even given my virginity to him. I feel emotionally/phyisically attached to him. But I can't go living like this. I can't stand the constant fights, the lieing, fake promises and forgiving him for hitting me twice. I know I should go, but I just cant do it. Thank you so much for the help.
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You NEED to get out of this relationship. There is absolutely nothing to gain out of being with this boy. He has anger issues and needs help which he may or may not be able to receive. If you continue to stay with him things are only going to get worse. You say that he told his buddies that he ONLY punched you. Let me tell you something, even if all he did was punch you, that is something BIG. Whether it is physical or emotional it is still abuse and is still much more destructive than you think.
You are young and should not be going through this. Nobody should ever have to go through being apart of an abusive relationship. It isn't worth the pain you are suffering for the one or two moments of joy. There are so many other guys that could treat you so much better.
You need to not only dump him, but tell someone. A teacher, parent, councilor, anyone. You are going to need some kind of help to get past this emotionally and he will need help to control his anger and emotions and to find out why he behaves the way he does. If you do not get out of this relationship he could end up KILLING you! I know you don't want that!
I understand that you say you just can't do it, but if you don't you are putting your life at stake. What happens if one day he gets so upset that he just keeps on hitting you until he kills you. This relationship isn't worth your time or energy.
I do not know the number, but if you google it I'm sure you can find the national hotline for abuse. You may be young but they can still help you get out of this relationship. You will probably want to go to the police and take out a restraining order on him. One of my good friends was raped by her boyfriend, they go to the same school and she was still able to get a restraining order against him so they could not get within a certain distance of each other. Personally I'm not so sure how much it helps because all it is is a piece of paper - but it's one step in the right direction.
Do not allow this to happen. You need to tell someone and call the police so he can't do this to you or anyone else ever again.
GET HELP! If you don't then you may not come out of this relationship alive!
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