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troubled...
im 16/f. i have to admit that usually i am one to let things get to me, and i've been trying to change that lately. in my school, the other girls treat me with such hostility, mainly because of racism, and i learned to deal with it. but now this one specific girl has taken some kind of negative interest in me, and getting her friends to do the same. all she does is just stare at me as if i've ever done something to her, and when she walks by, she comes real close as if trying to bump into me. it's really tormenting me even though i try to hide it. i don't know why, cause im not even scared of her. i just wish she would stop. and worse, i have to see her everyday, and if i tell anyone, they'll just think i'm being stupid. it's bothering me so much, i just basically feel like shit all day. any insights on how i can get my mind off it?
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Well, this might sound like a crazy idea, but it just might help. It sounds like this girl doesn't know you that well, or at all. But maybe if she were to get to know you better, even a little, she'd come to see you as a person who has feelings. Not that you'd end up being best friends, but maybe it would make her stop being so blatantly mean to you.
Soooo... how to get her to know you? This is where my crazy idea comes in. Go to your councelor or a teacher you like, and talk to her about it. Be sure to say that your goal is not to get this girl in trouble, but to find a way to make things better. Say that you think if this girl could get to know you a little, she might stop being so mean. And then ask if the councelor/teacher could arrange to have you and this girl work together on something. Doesn't matter what... a project, or assisting a teacher in some way, or whatever... but something where it's just you and her together, working on something for some period of time.
And then once you're with her, just be really, really nice! Act like you've never even noticed that she's been mean to you. When she's there with you, just the two of you and away from her friends, she probably won't be mean at all. And afterwards, it might not feel so good to her to be mean to you.
I really think that could work, because I've seen it happen before. When I was coaching gymnastics, I sometimes paired up girls who obvisously didn't like each other. But once they were stuck together for some reason, things seemed to get better. So give it a try! It might help!
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It is hard to get a person like that to stop their actions. I don't know how helpful I will be, but here is what I can tell you. Girls at 16 are very catty..and also very jealous. All of the things you've probably heard are true, and it took me some time, but i realize it now as well...
Girls usually pick on other girls for a few main reasons, 1) because they are jealous of the girl they are tormenting or 2) to make themselves feel better about themselves or 3)they want to draw attention to themself. Sounds cliche but it is actually very true. And because of this, she probably will not stop. Now, since she told her friends to do it, she probably has something against you that you aren't aware of, sounds like she is jealous of you about something. Could be looks, grades, relationships, anything. She might have her friends do it as a way to make her more popular, to make herself feel better by having others "agree" with her feelings towards you.
Really, it is hard to tell in these situations. Girls are your age can be very mean, jealous, vile, etc. She is being very immature. I know it is hard, but just think about how sad of a person she is.
I used to get teased all the time when I was about 14. EVERY DAY. It was terrible, I cried and was upset a lot. But eventually i took a step back and thought, you know what? I am happy with me, if people want to waste their time worrying about making me feel a certain way, let them. It's flattering that they care so much to try and bother me. The more you let them see that what they do is working by making you feel like crap, the more they will do it. Just show them up, be happy, laugh at them, make them feel stupid by showing them that no matter what, you are going to be you, and they are NOBODY to change that. Show them that they mean NOTHING to you.
Good luck. Stay strong.
<3
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