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i dont understand please help me
ok i have been with this guy for two years and we have a 1yr old daughter.. well i found out four months ago he cheated on me so i broke up with him.... well a couple of months ago we talked and he said he wanted to try to work it out that he loved me and so we started talking again... well a week after that i went to take my daughter to see him and i wanted to see him well he was on the phone with another gurl knowing we r trying to work it out.. well i got mad and left.. then not too long ago he called me and asked me if i would get mad and start a bunch of shit if he was dating someone.. and of course i said no know ing that i needed to get over him... well now he and that gurl r bf/gf and i cant get over the fact of that... i want to get over him so bad but dont know how.. i mean i am talking to this guy and he is really sweet but the thought of him and his new gf just hurts so bad... well i dont understand how to get over him will someone please help...
thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ideally I would say that you need to forget this guy and move on and concentrate on yourself etc, etc, etc but that's actually not so simple baring in mind that you and this guy also have a 1 year old daughter together. So simply closing him out of your life (which is what I would normally have suggested) wouldn't really be such an easy option especially since your daughter may well need her dad (provided he still want's to be her dad and isn't all about wanting to be 'free' of that responsibility and such.
I agree what the other advice giver said though. The first step is to accept that it's over and move on. I'm not saying to forget about him because that's not something that can be done so easily but you can try to move on and get on with your life -- just as he has clearly done. You gave this guy a chance a second time and he obviously didn't seem to tke it seriously so I don't see how he would deserve another at all especially since the world isn't short of decent guys, at least not as much as it always seems at first (I think I'm pretty decent and I'd hate to think I'm the only one).
It will take time but do try and move on and get out, see people and take some time to yourself. You do need this time to yourself because being around him a lot will not be giving yourself the chance to heal from this.
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Its not easy. Believe me. I was dumped out of a 2 and a half year relationship less than a month ago. We arent speaking. I lost my best friend as well as my lover, and its incredibly hard.
Ive had to face up to the fact that the woman I thought I knew, I didnt know at all.
The first, and often hardest thing, is to accept that the relationship is over. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I will probably never see or speak to this person again. Its not easy. You created a space for this person in your life. You let them in. Made yourself vunerable to them. And they pretty much just pissed on you and moved on.
Its also hard, because you start questioning yourself. "Could I have done better?" "Will I ever meet someone who does for me what they did?" "what am I going to do from here?"
You have to realize that these questions often cant be answered well. Sure, you can think of something that might have helped. But it didnt. You did what you could at the time. But the time for blame is past. His fault, your fault, learn your lessons that you can and forget he ever existed.
The only "last laugh" I have is that she moved back to where her parents are. Where there are probably about zero decent guys. So if she ends up dating again, hes going to be less than half the man I am.
Ultimately, you have to start remembering how to make yourself happy. You have to relearn how to be alone. I also have taken small joys by reclaiming things in my life. For instance, the song that was "our song" is now once again "my song". I can listen to it without feeling for her, without missing her. Without feeling lost. Little victories that keep me sane.
Oh, one last tip. Spend time separated. Dont talk to him, dont see him, avoid anything that makes you think about him. Empty your life of pictures of him, delete e-mails. Some of the wounds can only be healed slowly with time. You have to give yourself that time.
You wont get better if youre constantly peeling the scab off of an emotional wound.
If you want someone to talk to at more length, send me a private message.
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