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Feeling inferior in a two year relationship
I'm 18 and my girlfriend is 20.Yes,I'm a lesbian.We've been together for two yrs now..When we first met,she had just gotten out of a yr and one month relationship with another girl.They were always on and off,but I know that she was in love with her..They cheated on each other all the time.Well,me and my gf,we'll call her N have never broken up once,or cheated on each other.We both had bad reputations with relationships and girls.But we never let it ger in our way..She was my first,for EVERYTHING,physically and emotionally.Our love has been strong..But she still talks about her ex.About the good,or the bad.I want to erase her ex out of her mind!I feel so inferior to her.It's been over 2 yrs since they've been apart and it's been like over a yr since they've stopped talking.The girls has a boyfriend now and they're serious..But I feel inferior,because that girl drives,has a job,and is totally independent..I'm not,yet.I've told N about this,and how I want her to stop talking about her in ANYWAY.But it doesn't get through to her..I feel digusted with myself.My question is,really...What would you do to make yourself feel better?Or something?I have another question..But I'll ask you later.My apologies for this being too long.
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I think what you really need to do is just tell N totally how you feel, and I know you said you told her, but you obviously need to keep telling her. Have a long one-on-one discussion about it, tell her how this hurts you and makes you feel, don't hold back, if you need to get emotional for her to understand your feelings then get emotional. Something's gotta get through to her, and if she doesn't pay attention to it then she's just being selfish and needs a good reality check.
To feel better? Think of all the reasons that N loves you and all the reasons why you love yourself, whether it's your beauty, brains, humour, wit, kindness, any of that. Don't let the negative get through. Indulge in your favourite things. Go for a long walk to somewhere pretty and just lay in the middle of a giant field and watch the sky, relax your mind. Just don't feel inferior dear, N is with you, not your ex, and that means a lot, that means you are her love, no matter how much she may talk about her ex, she loves you and she needs to listen to you when you tell her you feel inferior. Good luck with everything.
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Well, you have to get this whole inferiority complex out of your head.
If she feels the need to drone on and on about her ex, that is NOT your fault, and you are in NO WAY inferior to this girl. So what if she is so independent? That doesn't make her any better than you are. So STOP THAT.
Listen, if your girlfriend doesn't want to listen to your feelings about her going on and on about the ex, then maybe you need to give an ultimatum.
Either she puts her past behind her and puts her mind on the girl who is by her side, or you will find someone who respects you enough to A) listen to your feelings B) has respect enough for you to not constantly throw her ex up in your face.
I know that isn't likely the answer you seek, but drastic situations are cause for drastic measures. If she is unaffected by such an ultimatum and still continues on as such, well, do you really want to spend the rest of your life listening to that? I highly doubt it.
ygs-29/f
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